He leaves, She breaks
by CaskettMyHeart
Summary: this is written based on the sneak peeks from undead again. it is located somewhere after the seasons finally, when he already left: Kate's world falls down once Rick is gone. but on a miserable day, faith happens...Romance, Hurt/confort, Drama, Friendship..
1. He Left, She broke

"Night guys."Kate Beckett grabbed her jacket off her desk chair. Without looking back she headed for the elevator.

"Night!" Esposito and Ryan answered. They joked around some more while they saw Kate heading into the elevator. They saw the sad look on her face when the elevator doors closed. They knew it wasn't from the case. It was from missing him…

Kate leaned back against the elevator wall after she pressed the lobby button. She was tired from working the case. She hadn't slept in 35 hours. And all she did the last 5 hours was filling in paperwork… All that kept her awake where the coffees. She'd been so busy she didn't realize it was pouring outside. She cursed inside her mouth and tried to get a cab. After trying a few times, she gave up and started walking to her apartment.

She was soaked when she got to her building. She walked over to the elevator but it had a note on it: _'Do not enter. Broken!'_

"Just my luck" she mumbled to herself as she opened the stairwell door.

She ran up to her floor but somewhere in the middle, she collapsed. She leaned against the wall and let herself slide down. She couldn't take it anymore. She thought about all the people she'd lost, her mom, since a few months her dad and now Rick… the only difference was that her mom and dad where dead. Rick wasn't.

Rick was happy with another woman, somewhere in the Hamptons, or in his Ferrari in LA. She pretended she didn't care, but she did. A tear rolled over her cheek. She let it roll. She was too tired to get up to her apartment but she couldn't stay here. So after a deep breath she pulled herself on her feet and slowly headed up the stairs.

When she reached her door she grabbed her keys, tried to get it in the lock, but she was cold and shivering, so that took a while. Once she finally got in her apartment and locked the door she walked over to her couch and just laid there for a while. She decided not to shower and just crawl into her bed. But she couldn't even get up. She just turned on the TV and got comfy in her couch. But when she skipped the channel to the news, she heard a familiar voice. When she realized it was the voice of Rick she looked around if she saw him. But she didn't see him. It was then that she realized Rick was at the screen of her TV. He was being interviewed by the news reporter.

There was something about a shooting in the restaurant he was having dinner with Alexis. And then she heard him say: "Because of me working with the NYPD for a while, I knew how to react. I'm glad I'm the only one that got hurt," he looked into the camera and added: "Thanks to Detective Beckett. Without her I wouldn't have known how to act." The news reporter thanked him and she said: "Well, I think we should thank Detective Beckett for teaching the ropes to mystery writer Richard Castle. Or else, people could've died. The police is still investigating the case."

She couldn't believe what she just saw. _Castle? Involved in a shooting?_ But she didn't have lots of time to think about it when her phone rang. Lanie.

"Kate? Are you okay?" Lanie asked even before Kate could say hi.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Because- did you see the news?"

"Yeah I did."

"Well, then you know why I'm calling." Lanie thought she would know.

"Lanie, seriously, I'm fine!" she tried to convince Lanie after a short pause.

"Have you been crying?" when she got no response she knew.

"Kate, I know when something's up! I could hear it in your voice! I'm coming over there!"

Kate tried to protest but it didn't work. Lanie already hung up.

Lanie knocked on the door to find it open. She panicked. "Kate?" when she got no response she ran into the master bedroom. No one. She yelled again: "Kate?"

This time she got a response just as she saw the flickering light coming under the bathroom door. "I'm in the bathroom." Kate yelled.

Without thinking Lanie ran in to find Kate in the bathtub. Luckily it was covered with bubbles.

"Can't you knock?" Kate asked while covering herself up with some more bubbles.

"What in the lords name where you thinking leaving the door open like that! You scared me Kate!"

"I had to make sure you could come in, didn't I?" Lanie nodded.

"Now, why don't you tell me why you're here Lanie."

Lanie took a seat next to the tub and started her talk: "I was concerned. You haven't seen him in weeks, and then you see him on the news like that?"

"Lanie, I told you, I'm fine!"

"Yeah well, you have to understand I wasn't sure." Lanie got a confused look from Kate.

"Kate! When he left you there, you almost gone missing!"

"I wasn't missing!" Kate managed to say before Lanie continued.

"We had no idea where you where! For 3 days! And I don't like that to happen again, Kate!"

"Point taken," Kate agreed. "Now can you go to the living room and wait for me to get dressed if you really want to stay…"

Lanie stood up. "Kate, just know that I'm still here for you."

Kate got dressed and walked into the living room to find Lanie watching the news. It was about him. But he was not being interviewed. The news reporter said that Rick had been attacked a second time. This time he was really hurt. They showed a video from Rick laying on a stretcher and being broth to the ambulance.

"Lanie? What is this?" Kate had tears in her eyes.

Lanie turned around. Not realizing that Kate was standing there.

"Kate…"

"No! just tell me! What happened?" she was yelling.

"He's been attacked on his way home. He was coming back to his loft here in New York when he walked to his car he was shot. But because he just turned around when the shot went off, it hit him in the shoulder. His mom and Alexis were with him at the time." She sighed and wanted to pull Kate in for a hug but Kate grabbed her phone and called Alexis. No answer.

"Kate, sit down! I'm sure he's going to be okay!"

"You don't know that!" Kate snapped at Lanie.

"Okay Kate, now you really have to calm down!" she pulled Kate on to the couch and tried to calm her down.

Kate couldn't fight her tears anymore and went for a hug.

"Hey… he's going to be fine. Just fine."

While Lanie said that a few times she could feel Kate slipping away. she fell asleep.

Lanie laid Kate onto the couch and covered her up with a blacket.

She locked the door and went into the guest bedroom. She was sure Kate wouldn't mind she stayed the night.

Kate woke up to find herself not in her bed. But she soon realized that she was in her own living room. She smelled bacon. She turned her head around to find Lanie cooking.

"Hey Kate. You okay?"

"Yeah," she rubbed her eyes: "I'm fine." And she let herself fall back on the couch. Closing her eyes she remembered what happened to Rick.

She grabbed her phone and called Rick. No Response. Probably because he was in the hospital. So she tried Alexis.

"Hello?" Alexis had a tired voice.

"Alexis? It's me, Kate."

"Kate? You must have seen the news last night?" Kate could hear she'd been crying.

"Yeah, are you okay? Is he okay?"

There was a pause. It scared her.

"I'm fine, and my dad is still in surgery."

"Where are you Alexis? I'll come over."

"We're at the NYC hospital. He got transfered here. But… on the way his heartbeat stopped." Kate could here Alexis started crying.

Kate didn't know how to calm the upset teenager down.

"I'll be right there Alexis!"

"Kay." Alexis hung up.

Lanie grabbed Kate's keys before she could get them. "No way in hell you're driving!" she answered Kate's face expression. They both got into Kate's car and drove to the hospital.

Kate called Esposito. "Hey Javi. I'm going to visit Rick in the hospital."

That only was enough for Esposito to jump up from is chair.

"What?"

"Oh don't worry, Lanie's with me."

"We're coming to!"

Kate wanted to protest but decided to just agree. She gave him the hospital address and she hung up.

Lanie stopped in front of the door so Kate could get out while she parked the car. "Go, I'll be there soon!" she yelled at Kate while she got out of the car.

Kate ran into the emergency hallway. When she was about to ask where Richard Castle was she heard Alexis.

"Kate?" Kate turned her head and she saw Martha sitting and Alexis looking at her. Kate ran to them and pulled Alexis in for a hug.

"Thanks for coming," Martha said while she stood up and joined the hug.

"Do you know what happened Alexis?" she had to ask.

"The shooting at the restaurant just seemed random, but at the car…" the knot in her throat became too much and Alexis started to sob. She couldn't cry, all of the tears she had were already gone.

"It's okay." Alexis looked up at Kate. "I know you where hurt when he left. But I need you to know he loves you. Like really loves you!" When Kate realized what Alexis had said, she pulled her in for another hug and she let a tear escape from the eye.

"I love your dad, that's why I was hurt. But I don't understand why he left." Kate carefully said, not wanting to hurt Alexis more. Because the waiting was killing her.

"He left because you knew he loved you, and he thought you kept that from him, because you where ashamed." She thought of a million reasons, but this never accord to her.

"I'm so sorry to have caused that thought, but the reason I kept it from him was because I wasn't ready to hear that, and especially when I realized that I loved him back. That's why I never called him in those 3 months."

"It's okay, I can't forgive you, my dad has to." Alexis looked hopeful at the door. A doctor came out.

"We have news about M. Castle."


	2. They meet again

**Chapter 2. They meet again. **

**For the person who posted a rude review, this is fan fiction! Which means it's fantasy!**

**And for the rest of you, who read the story, put it on story alert: THANK YOU! My mail box was full of emails when I checked it only 30 minutes after I posted the story! Thanks!**

They ran in behind the doctor. Alexis first. Kate held back, she didn't know how he would react. But Martha took her hand and said: "Come with us, you are part of our family Kate!" with that, she was dragged it to see Castle laying in the bed. Peaceful. Alexis was on one side of the bed. Kate on the other. Martha sat back in the chair at the table once she saw her son was okay. Alexis gave her dad a little kiss on his cheek and Kate kissed the hand she was holding.

She was still upset that he had left. But she couldn't hold that against him, not now, not here.

When Lanie came in Ricks eyelids moved. Both Alexis and Kate jumped up from their chairs. He opened his eyes to be blinded by the bright light above him. He saw 2 shapes. With long hair, he thought about his mother but the hair was too long to be hers. When he recognized the long beautiful locks of hair he could finally get a word over his lips.

"Kate?" it took him some trouble to say it, he thought he didn't but then he got a response.

"Yeah, me, Lanie, Alexis and your mom." Ryan and Esposito are coming tomorrow. You rest okay?"

"Kay" he said while he closed his eyes again and fell into a deep sleep.

"Kate, you should go home. The doctors will call us when he wakes up. The medication will keep him asleep for at least a few hours." Martha was worried about Kate. She didn't talk much the hole time she was here. And Lanie already left.

"Kate? You heard me right?"

"Yeah, yeah I did," Kate said in a sigh. "but, I'm going to stay here. I'm not going to leave."

"Kate, you should really get some rest!" Martha and Alexis tried to convince her, but it didn't work.

"I'll sleep here. 'Night!" she added. Alexis hugged Kate and said: "Call if you need anything."

Normally it would be otherwise, Kate would have to reassure Alexis. But Alexis knew her dad was going to be fine. She was worried. But she knew Kate was more.

Kate sat by his side. She only left once to get a coffee and go to the bathroom. But further, she never left his side. She held his hand, all the time and gave some small kisses on his hand. Just before she decided to go to sleep she stood up and pressed her soft lips against his forehead. A gentle kiss.

Kate felt a hand on her arm. "Kate? Are you up?"

"Rick?" she jumped out of the chair only to see Esposito waking her and Ryan sitting in the same chair Martha sat last night.

"Woah, Kate. Calm down, everything is fine with Castle," he had to almost push her back into the chair. "But, by the way, are you okay with what he did to you? Or should we still give him a lesson to what-not-to-do to you?"

"Yeah, Javi. I'm fine. I can't exactly blame him for leaving us like that."

"Us? You, you mean. And yeah, you can!"

"No Javi. I can't. I lied to him, and he left because of that." She saw Esposito trying to protest.

"And Alexis told me why he left. Rick thought wrong, so no, I can't blame him," she added.

At that point, she felt someone touching her hand: Rick.

"Hey!" Rick said still confused from the bright hospital lights.

"Hey Castle!" Ryan and Esposito said at the same time. But Rick turned to Kate who leaned forward to hear him better.

"I missed you," she whispered just enough for Rick to hear

"Missed you too," he answered with a bright sparkle of love in his eye.

"Hey, Castle, Beckett. We're going to get some coffee. Want anything?" Esposito made some excuse to let Kate and Rick talk.

"You can get me a cherry coffee, thanks!"

"I'm good," Rick added.

Esposito almost had to drag Ryan out of the room, sometimes Ryan wasn't so fast at getting a hint. But he got it from when he looked at Kate's face. She had "Love" written all over it.

"Hey…" she said again. Not really able to come up with something. He saw how she looked, lines under her eyes and tired.

"Did you sleep here?" he was curious.

"Yeah… I did."

"Why? I mean, you didn't have to stay."

"I wanted to. And after all that happened…" it was quiet for a little while.

"I'm sorry." They both apologized at the same time.

"Wait, why are you sorry, Kate?" she took a deep breath and sighed.

"Because I lied. And you know that, but I didn't ever want you to leave! I hated the distance you took from me when you found out."

"I thought you didn't feel the same way, I thought that's why you kept it from me…"

"No! no… not at all. It was- I just- I needed to fix myself first. But after the sniper case, I was partly fixed. It was while you were held hostage in that bank that I realized that I didn't want you to ever leave. _Because_ I feel the same way." She saw his face clear up a little bit, but right after that a frown.

"Then why didn't you just tell me Kate?"

"I was afraid to lose what we had, being partners, friends… and when you really left, I fell apart. I knew I waited too long. And I screwed up!" some tears gathered up in her eyes.

"And I cried, a lot. I hated not seeing you at the 12th. Your silly theories… you being at my side, watching my every move. I missed you. I miss you. I miss _us!_"

"Kate," now it was his time to explain himself: "I thought love was a switch that I could just turn off, but it isn't. So I needed to leave to stop loving you. And when that didn't work, take distance, I tried to date other people, but all I could think about is you. And while I was in that restaurant gun pointed at my head, I thought it was over. I thought I'd never see you again, and I'm glad that I get to see you. Here! Now!"

Held took her hand and broth it to his mouth. He gave a soft kiss on her knuckles. His warm lips gave her chills, she enjoyed being with him again. And a tear of joy and sorrow came down her cheeks.

"Hey, no need for tears. Everything's okay now!" he whipped her tear away. She looked down.

"Rick, don't, please. I still love you, and if you aren't going to be there for the rest of my life… I don't know what to do…" he lifted her head with his hand under her chin. Their eyes locked.

"Kate, I want to be with you, but I can't… I can't just forgive you from what you kept for me."

This time the tear that came rolling down from her eye was from pain, in her heart. She felt like it had been ripped out of her heart. She just wanted to run away. even if she wouldn't be with him, she wouldn't have to face him either.

She took a hold of his hand, still under her chin. She looked down at their hands, they looked so perfect to each other. But he didn't want it anymore…. She screwed up.

The knot in her throat thickened. She couldn't hold the tears in her eyes. She stood up, walked away from him. Rick tried to hold her back by her hand. "Kate!" she hesitated a moment. Looked back and said: "Farwell Rick, you won't ever have to see me again." She took a last look in his sad eyes, turned away and let his hand go. That moment she felt how lonely it was without him. She walked out the door hearing Rick calling her name. She ran by Esposito as he tried to stop her. She just ran on.

He knew Rick had done something. Ryan ran into the room trying to hold back Esposito. Kate was like their little sister.

"What the heck did you do?" Esposito yelled at Rick.

"Nothing!"

"You really want us to believe that?" Ryan stepped in.

"She just ran by us, crying!" Ryan had to hold Esposito back, but he didn't want to. Rick was the only person in the world who could hurt Kate this much. He deserved it! Ryan let go of Esposito.

Rick tried to defend himself. "I just said that I couldn't forgive her after what she had done!"

"You know she doesn't sleep? And when she sleeps she cries? You know that she almost gave up life because you left? You took her life away when you left Castle!"

Rick didn't realize it was that bad. "What about me huh? She lied!"

"Yeah, so what! She didn't want to lose you! She already lost her mom and dad! You know how long it took before she came close to us Castle? Long! Very long!"

Rick's face just went numb. He tried to get out of bed.

"Where do you think you're going?" Ryan questioned.

"I'm going to find her!"

"Oh, no you're not! You stay away from her!"

Esposito left the room, followed by Ryan.

At the car.

"Try to call her!" Esposito ordered. "I tried 3 times already she doesn't pick up!"

"Well, try again!"

"This time it went straight to voicemail! Her phones off!"

They both where so mad at Castle. And they both wanted to shoot him, but it wouldn't do her any justice. They didn't know where she would go except her apartment. Her parents where dead, so where could she go. They called Lanie to check her apartment.

Last time, when he left, she almost let herself get hit by a car. But she would try to succeed this time! She didn't want to live without him. Hell, she couldn't live without him! She didn't even want to fight anymore when she was in her car at the bottom of the river. At that point, when she realized that he might be dead, and she couldn't get out, she stopped fighting. She just let go of life.

Now, she was about to do the same thing. Let go of life, and then she would be with her mom and dad. Without him, but free.

**I got a little stuck somewhere in the middle, and I thought, get them together now, wouldn't be a good story. It would have been too easy. I'm so happy with all of the Story Alerts, Favorite Stories, even some reviews and some Favorite Author emails! Thank you all for reading this story. And it's not over! Not yet!**

**But what I do like to say is that I decided not to write another chapter for my story: The secret is out. Maybe if I get more on that, but this story seems more fun.**


	3. She's Gone

**Chapter 3: She's gone.**

**I just want to say, that as all of you know, I changed Kate from being so strong, to being heartbroken, again. And I didn't first mean to go for it like this, but this way, I can stretch the story. So Kate lost her Mom, Dad and now Castle. The 3 people she cares most for. Imagine: you just lost all of the people you love and one of them broke your heart, several times. And with a background like Kate. I just hope you understand that this is fanfic, so that I can change the characters a bit.**

**Thanks for reading and giving me your insight!**

**Thanks to Miniwriter305, I was like 2 pages and I got stuck, than I saw your review and I changed the hole chapter bcs I actually liked your version better. I hope you don't mind I took your idea. I love your insight and I hope you'll post more reviews! Thx!**

Kate almost can't believe she's really doing this. She won't live without him. Now she doesn't have a life, he took that away from her. So why stay here? She thinks.

She grabs her car keys, leather jacket, gun, bullets and a bag with a sweater, 3 extra jeans, and a few t-shirts. It's than that she sees the t-shirt she borrowed from him once. It makes her tears come back. How can she be on this planet when she's constantly thinking about him?

She wants to escape this world, but she can't. Her mom got killed, she didn't want to die. Most of the peoples murders she investigates didn't want to die. And then there was her Dad. Killed in a car accident, he was brought to the hospital but he died of his injuries right next to her… So she wants to leave the town, but somehow she ends up laying on the bed, crying.

Lanie runs through the hallway. "Kate!" she screams as she reaches the door. Lanie doesn't even bother to knock. When the doors unlocked she knows she's done it again. Last time she was just in time to prevent Kate from drowning. She ran straight to the bedroom.

Lanie saw Kate laying on the bed, crying. Meanwhile they heard Esposito and Ryan coming in. "In here!" Lanie yelled. Kate was just crying into the t-shirt under the blankets. Esposito just came running in and before Lanie could do or say anything Espo was already next to Kate. pulling her up in sitting position and holding her in his arms. Kate was like a sister to Espo and Ryan. Kate just kept crying. She didn't want to fight her tears anymore, so she just let them roll. Lanie checked out the bathroom, last time she found Kate in the tub. Now there was just a bag packed on the little table.

Ryan went to set some coffee and Esposito stayed with Kate. Lanie joined Kate and Espo hugging on the bed. She heard Espo whisper: "I'm going to kill him!" and all Lanie could answer was: "Not before I break his every bone!" Kate didn't seem to mind.

Kate cuddled up in a little ball. Legs up to her chest and arms wrapped around the with tears filled t-shirt. Ryan comes to check up on Kate. Lanie was making something for them to eat and Esposito was helping. Espo was always the tuff brother who protected Kate, and Ryan was always the more sensitive one, but he could still beat up a person who hurts Kate.

Kate was still sobbing after a few hours. She was out of tears by now. "Beckett you should come sit with us and eat dinner." Ryan tried to get her out of that bed.

Kate didn't answer and she just kept sobbing.

"Come on Kate!" he walked up over the bed and sat next to her. He didn't even needed to put his arms around her, Kate's head came up to his shoulder. She had never seen her so heartbroken before. Even when he just left, she almost drowned that time, but she wasn't like this. When you looked into her eyes, you saw nothing. Not even a sparkle to see that she was actually alive.

They sat like that a few moments, "Come on Kate, you need to eat!"

After some convincing he got her on her feet, unsteady because she didn't have the strength to walk, and he took her to the living room.

"Hey Girl!" Lanie and Espo said. "We made you some Mac and Cheese, we know you like it." Lanie said after she didn't get a response. "We'll eat on the couch," Espo added. Ryan brought Kate to the couch. She still had the T-shirt clamped in her hands. Lanie, Ryan and Espo looked at each other. Kate hadn't said a word since they found her.

Lanie and Espo brought the food up to the coffee table and put down for each person a plate. Ryan was sitting in the armchair. Lanie and Espo each on a side of Kate. They all tried to encourage her to eat. But she only drank some water. They didn't know why it got her down so much. But they knew she loved him. And with her parents gone, she didn't have any family anymore, except for them.

After watching some news and keeping Kate company they noticed Kate fell asleep on her couch. They walked into Kate's kitchen to decide what they were going to do.

"Jenny expects me home, but I can call her." Ryan said.

"No, you shouldn't do that, I don't have anything and I want to stay here, Ryan you just go home and get a good night sleep." Espo said.

"You to Javi! They'll need you tomorrow at the 12th. I can just let someone take my cases for a while." Lanie explained.

"Lanie, I rather want…" Espo tried but he got interrupted. "They will need you with 2 people down. You two just go home and I'll stay here. I'll call if we need something."

With that Ryan said goodbye and went home.

Espo walked over to Kate, put an arm under Kate knees and arms. He picked her up. Kate's head instantly rolled against his chest. It was only than that he noticed how light she was. And how skinny. She hadn't touched any of her food, and she hadn't had lunch in a long time. Lanie followed them into the bedroom. After Espo laid Kate unto the bed and pulled a blanket over her skinny body he turned to Lanie. "She's so light, and skinny. I'm gonna beat Castle's ass!"

"Not without me!" Lanie agreed, "But now you go home, get some sleep. I'll call you in the morning to update you guys."

Espo turned to Kate once more and kissed her on the forehead. He hated to see her like this.

He turned back to Lanie, said goodbye and went out the door.

Lanie watched over Kate a little while, she went to get a glass of water, locked all the doors and windows and checked on Kate again. She clamped on to the pillow like she was a little girl holding on to a teddy bear. Lanie left the door from Kate's bedroom open and got settled in the guest bedroom. After a while, she fell asleep.

Lanie woke up. Screams. She could hear Kate screaming in her sleep. She jumped out of the bed and ran over to Kate. Lanie found her struggling in her bed. She tried to keep Kate down by her arms but it didn't work, so she tried to wake her up. "Kate? Wake up Kate!" she tugged Kate's arms some more, and then Kate shot up from her bed. Lanie held her down.

It took Kate a while to figure out where she was, what had happened, but Lanie didn't know.

"Hey Kate, what's wrong?" Lanie questioned.

"Just a nightmare," Kate said putting her hand on her head.

"What about?" Lanie asked, really wanting to know because it got them both freaked out immensely.

"Castle…" Lanie sat on the bed next to Kate.

"Instead of him getting a shot in the shoulder, he got shot in the chest and didn't survive. And that's just the cliff note version." Kate didn't want to talk about it.

"Awh, Kate. You got it bad now, don't you…" she hugged Kate and she went back to her room after Kate calmed down again. For the rest of the night, it was quiet. Kate & Lanie where both asleep.

_That annoying noise…. What the hell is that noise_ Lanie thinks. _KATE!_ Lanie jumped up and walked to the bedroom to find Kate asleep. With the pillow in her arms just like before. Now Lanie hears a phone ring, she walks into the living room and at the same time she hears knocking. "I'm coming!"

She was just about to answer the phone when she opened the door and she saw Espo & Ryan. She let them come in and answered the phone.

"Doctor Parish."

"No, but… isn't he in the hospital?" at that line Espo and Ryan looked down. Lanie noticed.

"Can you hold on for a sec.?"

"What do you know Espo?" she questioned their looks a bit, it wasn't quilt she saw, nor anger. It was more of a what-are-we-going-to-do look.

"He's gone, we went there to kick hit ass but he wasn't there…"

"Where did he go?"

Both Espo and Alexis on the phone said that they didn't know.

At that moment they saw Kate walking in. Looking like hell, but she looked better than last night.

"What's wrong?" she asked with a sleepy voice. Lanie, Espo and Ryan stared at her.

They didn't know what to say. She was already so hurt. "Come on guys!" Kate frowned.

"He… He's missing…"

**I Know that this chapter is a little shorter, but I hope you understand I wanted to end with this. I'm already writing the fifth Chapter so that if I get stuck you can at least read this one and the fourth. I'd love to see more reviews! I really loved the advise you all gave me!**


	4. The right and wrong move

**Chapter 4: Pain.**

**To the 2 who had bad comments about my grammar, don't think I'm the worst!**

_He's missing._

That line… she didn't want to believe it… she felt he legs weaken. She almost fell onto the floor if it wasn't for Espo coming to hold her up.

"How?" was the only question she could get out.

"We think…" he hesitated as he brought her to her couch. Espo knew that if he said what he thought that she would think that this is her fault.

"Yeah…" Kate asked

"that he might be looking for you." Espo said in a sigh.

"And don' you dare think it's your fault Kate!" Lanie said before Kate could say anything.

They all went to sit down when Kate finally got something over her lips.

"But where could he be looking for me?"

"I think that he might be somewhere between the hospital and here. And not in his apartment."

"We'll go and look at every single route he could've taken!" Ryan adds.

Espo kissed Kate on the forehead and the two boys walk out looking for Castle.

Lanie made some breakfast for her and Kate. Kate hadn't said anything since Ryan and Espo left.

This time, Kate actually ate something. Last night she wasn't hungry but more upset and sad. Now she was worried, and when she's worried, she eats.

"I hope they find him." Kate said it just a little louder than a whisper.

"I hope so too," Lanie agreed and added: "so I can kick his ass back into the hospital!"

Kate could help but let a little laugh appear on her face. The way Lanie could make her smile in the saddest moments… she was thankful to have her as a friend. Her best friend.

"Hey girl! You're smiling again! Good! I missed it!" Lanie couldn't help it, Kate laughed some more. It was fun to forget the trouble for a while. but it didn't take long. As they were doing the dishes they heard something in the hallway. Lanie went to check it out when they heard a noise like something fell. Or someone. Lanie looked thru the peep hole. Nothing. She opened the door and there he was. Castle. Laying on the floor, trying to get up, but his shoulder bleeds too hard. Kate noticed Lanie stood in the door a little too long and walked over. She walked over to Lanie and she froze when she saw Castle sitting on the floor. "Hi Kate, Lanie." He managed to get out before a moan.

Kate didn't know what to do, she wanted to help him, but she was also mad. But then the bullet wound decided that it would be fun to start to bleed again… causing more pain. Kate stumbled over to Castle and tried to get him up on his feet. Lanie helped. "God, Castle. I'm gonna kick your pretty writers ass back into the hospital!"

"I think I deserved that." Castle moaned some more, but he eventually got to the couch.

Kate and Lanie walked over to the kitchen.

"I'm gonna call Javi!" Lanie tried to get Kate's attention but she was just looking at Castle. "Sure, but can you give me a moment with him?"

"Kate," Lanie took her by the arm, "are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Trust me!" Lanie saw the sadness and sorrow in Kate's eyes. But there was a sparkle of love and madness too.

"Sure, but Kate? I'll just be a phone call away." and Lanie walked out the door with her phone to her ear.

Kate walked back to Rick. "What the hell Rick!" she said as she took off his vest to get closer to the wound. "I needed to see you, and you weren't coming to me, so I came to you." His face full of pain. Both emotional and physical pain. "Why?" Kate asked while she tried to remove his shirt but Rick stopped her. She looked in his deep blue eyes and remembered why she loves him. Loved him she thinks. "Because I heard what happened to you when I left!" her face turned white and she was out of words. "Who told you that?"

"It doesn't matter Kate! all that matters is why! Why did you do that to yourself, to Lanie, to the boys, to your dad!" Kate didn't really move until that last one. Her dad. He didn't know yet… he saw that she looked away from him when he mentioned him.

"What Kate?" tears gathered up her eyes. Now Ricks anger turned into sorrow, for what he did.

"Kate? What's wrong?"

Kate stood up and walked away but Rick grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down into sitting position. She took a deep breath and Rick felt something bad was about to come over her lips.

"My dad," she started, "he died in a car accident." A tear escaped her eye. Rick pulled her closer to him, he didn't care about the pain. She let him. "I'm sorry Kate, but how come you didn't tell me…"

"It was right after you left. He was…" she hesitated.

"Kate?" he noticed that her eyes where empty.

"He just heard what happened to me, he wasn't paying attention to the road and…"

Rick pulled Kate into a hug. He felt his shirt get wet on his shoulder. She was crying.

"Kate, it isn't your fault." He tried to calm her down but it didn't work.

"That's just the thing Rick, it is! And it was my fault you left!"

He didn't know what to say but, "I chose to leave. And I was wrong, because while I was gone, I missed you, and I love you!" she turned her head and looked up in his eyes. Their faces where just inches away from each other.

"Do you forgive me?" she whispered.

"Yeah," he put a hand on her cheek, "do you forgive me?" he asked.

"Yeah, I do." She broth her hands to his cheeks and her forehead rested against his.

"I love you Rick," she whispered. "I love you to Kate." With that, their lips stroke against each other. She felt a shiver over her body. Finally their lips met in a soft kiss. The kiss seemed to last forever, but when he broke the kiss she felt like she missed a part of herself. They looked in each other's eyes and their lips met again. He softly slid his tongue in her mouth and she moaned a little. Their kiss deepened, she was sure it lasted ten times longer than the other kiss. When they finally broke the kiss they gasped for air.

She smiled to big, it made him laugh. "Wow! You're an awesome kisser!" he said.

"If you say so," the look she had on her face was priceless. "Oh, and you're not so bad yourself!"

They laughed some more and cuddled up next to each other.

There was knocking on the door. Kate stood up and quickly pressed a soft kiss against Rick's lips. She opened the door and saw Alexis & Martha. "Is he here?" she asked and Kate smiled and took a step back so that Alexis and Martha could come in. Rick turned to the door as soon as he heard footsteps.

"Dad!" Alexis almost jumped over the couch and hugged her father. The band aid on his shoulder was a little bloody and it scared her since he was still shirtless from when Kate had cleaned the wound.

"Don't worry, it just started bleeding again, that's all."

"That's all? Richard, why aren't you in the hospital?" Martha took of her coat and walked over to her son.

"I'm fine! I didn't want to be there anymore, I needed to talk to Kate."

Alexis and Martha turned to Kate which made Kate took a long sip from her glass of water she just pored herself.

"And did you get to talk?" Martha looked from Kate to her son and back to Kate.

Rick couldn't help the smirk that appeared on his face. Martha's worried face turned into a playful face. Alexis didn't get it, but then she noticed how Kate was hiding in her drink and how her dad was looking at Kate. he hadn't looked to anyone like that, except for Kate. "Dad?" she questioned with a playful voice.

"We kissed, that's all!" he had to say to get that look of his daughters and his moms face.

"Rick!" Kate couldn't help the little teenager-in-love take over for a second. "I think I need something stronger!" Kate playfully said while looking at the already empty glass in her hands. They all had to laugh.

When Alexis and Martha left, they asked if Rick wanted a ride. "No, I'll see you guys later. See you tomorrow, don't wait up for me!"

"It's not gonna be that late…" Kate lied. She kind of hoped it was going to be a lie.

When they were alone again Rick wanted to know if he had missed anything. Maybe for a next book he explained, but she knew he just wanted the freaky one's.

She sighed, well nothing special except one case… Rick immediately leaned forward to hear the story.

"I found a lead to my mom's killer."

"What?" his face turned white. He knew that he was support to keep her away, and he left her unprotected. She could've been in danger. Hell, she WAS in danger!

"Kate! What were you thinking! Last time they killed Montgomery! They almost killed you!"

"Rick. I'm okay! I didn't get a chance to look into it!" but he didn't believe her.

"Why don't I believe that?"she was busted.

"Rick, I'm okay!" she put her hands on his cheek and he took her by her wrists.

"Kate… You don't get it do you? They are going to kill you!"

Something in his voice scared her like never before. "Rick, why do you sound so sure of that…"

"I'm sorry Kate."

"Tell me Rick! I have the right to know!"

"I've been investigating your mom's murder," he face was blank. No emotion, not in her face or her eyes. And since he was telling the truth, he decided to say everything. "And a man called me saying that if you went near the case, they were going to kill you!"

She was stunned. She hated him for ignoring what she said, but she Loved him for trying to protect him.

"Get. Out!" she said it with so much force he got scared.

"Kate." he whispered just hard enough to hear. He broth his good hand up to her cheek but she backed away. "Get the hell out of my apartment! Get out!"

She backed away from the couch, he stood up, grabbed his coat walked to the door and turned around one more time to see her. "Kate, don't do this."

"GET OUT!" She yelled and started to run towards him. He walked thru the door and left.

She went back to the couch and let herself fall down. A tear escaped her eye. _How could he do this?_


	5. Crazy

**Chapter 5**

**I'm really sorry I haven't uploaded much, but school started again and I have lots of homework, so I try to upload at least 1 chapter every 3 days, normally 2 but if I have a writer's block like I had in the beginning of Chapter 5… it's going to take a while.**

**To all who think I have a lot of mistakes in the story, I'm sorry, and yes, I already use spelling check, I'm sorry if it doesn't see every mistake I make. It's not the end of the world you know!**

Kate just threw Rick out. Melted back into the couch and left her feelings out into the world. She didn't believe he could do this. He had investigated her moms murder, something that hurt her so many times. It killed one of her friends, Roy Montgomery, and she almost got killed, something he reminded her off. But she would not let anybody else get killed because of her, because of this. She was going to get the man that killed her mom. Now!

Espo and Ryan just heard that Castle was at his home and they heard that he went to Kate from Lanie. They were going to kick his ass.

Ryan knocked at the door and Martha opened the door. It was late but when she saw a look on their faces, she let them in. "He's in his office."

Ryan and Espo marched in. As soon as they walked in, they saw the murder board, with in the middle a big photo of Kate. "What the…" was the first thing Ryan said. Rick jumped up, put the TV on standby and stared with a scared look on his face to the 2 angry detectives in front of him.

"So it's true, you really are investigating her moms murder!"

"Wow guys! It's not what it looks like!" he said while Ryan approached him on the right and Espo on the left.

"Oh no?" Ryan questioned, "we should've kicked you ass before you decided to go and talk to her!"

Ryan in Rick's back while Espo was only inches away from him.

"I was only doing it to protect her!" he tried to defend himself.

"From what?" Espo asked.

Rick sighed and went on with his story, "The man said that if Kate went near the case, the people would kill her! And I don't want that! You don't want that either!"

They still wanted to kick his ass but instead they let him escape from the uncomfortable position he was in.

Ryan asked, "Why the hell didn't you tell us this?"

"I didn't want to worry you guys!"

"When are you going to learn?" Espo said, "We are always worried when it comes to Kate!"

Ryan continued: "She's like our sister, we will always protect her! No matter what!"

It was morning.

Kate went it the 12th. _Just grab the file and get out!_ She thought. She went to her desk where the file was laying in one of her drawers. She went back to the elevator and right when she wanted to hit the button it hit their floor. The doors opened and she saw Lanie. Not exactly who she wanted to see.

"Hey," Lanie said as she saw the sad and angry expression on Kate's face, "You okay girl? You don't look so good."

"I'm fine!" she almost snapped at her friend. Lanie took her arm. She saw the file in Kate's hands.

"Kate, no! You are not going after that guy!"

"You can't stop me Lanie!" she walked into the elevator and Lanie loosened her grip on Kate's arm. Kate took the occasion to free her hand and push on the lobby button. "Kate!" Lanie tried but the doors where already closing.

Kate was going after that guy! And no one was going to stop her!

After Espo and Ryan left, not without punishing him, he tried to call Kate. after a few rings, voicemail.

After a few tries he left a message not knowing she would check it. "Kate, please, don't do this! Don't go after the guy!" he was silent for a moment, "please, just… if you care, about even any of us, don't do this! You are going to get yourself killed!" he waited a few moments than said: "Kate… I love you!" and he heard the beep going that he didn't have more time. But after that, he really didn't know what to say anymore.

She checked her phone when she heard the ringtone, she was glad, it wasn't Castle. Voicemail. _Still Castle_ she thought. After a few minutes deciding whether she should listen to it or not, she decided not to.

She went to the roof where the murder the lead came from took place. The building had no elevator so it was a climb up, 16 stories high. When she was about halfway up she saw a guy, following her. She was just about to turn around to check the guy out when he went through the door on the 7th floor. So she shook it off. She went to the roof.

When she reached the roof, she went to the crime scene. It was between the air shafts and mechanic part of the roof. She knelt down where the body had been and checked the aria. That's when she saw it, the shadow that flashed by. She stood up, wanted to pull out her gun when she heard something behind her. As soon as she turned around she got surprised with a hit on the head.

She was on the ground, her vision unclear. She looked at the man she saw earlier behind her on the stairs leaning over her. Then she smelled something… She tried to fight the drug, but the next thing she knew, she was asleep.

She woke up. Eyes wide, sweating. She looked around but saw nothing but darkness. She tried her hands but they were tied up with rope. Her legs too. Even worse, they were attached to the metal chair she was in. _Wait! Mental?_ She tried to look underneath the chair. She could just reach far enough to see something attached to the chair. It was a bomb. She couldn't hear it ticking, but she did saw the timer. It said: 15:00. It wasn't running. Good she thought. _Now I just need to get out of here._ And then she started to remember everything that happened. The man, Castle, her phone. _My phone!_ She didn't feel it in her pocket. _Damn! He took my phone!_

Suddenly she hears a voice. _Castle!_

"Kate, please, don't do this! Don't go after the guy!" she heard him say.

"Castle? Where are you?"

"Please, just… if you care, about even any of us, don't do this! You are going to get yourself killed!"

"Castle? What?" she asked, not knowing where the voice came from. It was silent for a moment. She tried to figure out where it came from. "Castle?"

"Kate… I love you!" she heard him say, almost a whisper and then nothing. No sound, no voice, no Castle. Kate was shocked about what she just heard. She let her head hang for a moment when she heard footsteps.

"He was right you know." A man's voice said. "You shouldn't have come."

"Who are you?" her cops instinct told her to say something.

"Oh, Kate. You know who I am. I'm the one that's going to kill you." She heard him smile.

"If you wanted to kill me, you should've done it already!" Kate snapped at the man.

"While you were out? No… that way I wouldn't hear you scream!" the man enjoyed it. She knew that.

"Where's Castle?" she suddenly thought about the message she heard.

"He left you a message after he called." He played it again.

She couldn't bear to hear those last 3 words. The man came closer after the message was done.

He was now inches away from her face. The spot that was shining above her made his face visible to her. She didn't know who he was, but she sure didn't like him!

"Do you love him?" the man asked with a smile.

When she didn't answer or look at him he put his hand under her chin and made her look into his dark, cold eyes.

"I said, do you love him?" she couldn't answer but she shook her head to the right, she undid her from his grip.

"I'll take that as a yes!" he said playfully.

"What do you want from me?" she asked with all the anger she had put in her voice.

"I want you, to beg," he came closer.

"For what?" she came forward.

"For death!" he smiled and she backed away. The anger in her eyes was replaced by fear as the man grabbed her head. It wasn't until now that he took the knife out of his jacket and he pressed it against her cheek. He had a smile on his face, but he wasn't a psychopath, she saw that in his dark eyes. He enjoyed the fear, and pain in her eyes. But it was different than when she had talked to the man that placed a bomb in her apartment. He was sick in his mind, but this man… this man knew how to kill, he just decided to have some fun with her.

He wanted her to beg, well, he could forget that.

Xx

**I really had trouble writing this one. it took me since I uploaded chapter 3 till now to write this! It was hard for me, but I wanted to upload this before the Season 4 final!**

**I hope you like the twist.**

**Also: Reviews make me write! Thanks Miniwriter305 for making me smile!**


	6. Tick, Tick, Tick

**Chapter 6.**

**I was fangirling so hard about Always… I almost fell down trying to go to the bathroom after the episode! I don't think I've ever been so happy about a TV show before, but then again, Castle isn't really just a TV show!**

**Thanks for all the positive reviews! And story alerts! I'm So happy!**

Rick's shoulder healed pretty fast, only after 2 days out of the hospital, with medication, it didn't hurt anymore. He still had to be careful though. But he wasn't really thin3king about his shoulder, he was thinking about Kate. He tried to call Kate a few more times. The last time he tried, it went straight to voicemail. Her phone was off. _This can't be good…_ he called Lanie.

"Castle? Why are you calling?" she asked instead of her normal introduction.

"Have you talked to Kate?" she could hear that he was worried.

"I saw her this morning in the 12th. She didn't look to good."

"Have you called her since?"

"No, why?"

"She doesn't answer my messages and she turned off her phone!"

It was silent for a while.

"Lanie, what do you know? What was she doing in the 12th?"

She sighed and answered his question, "She had the file with the lead for her moms murder."

If he wasn't sitting, he would've fallen down, instead, his phone slipped out of his hand.

"She-She's going after the guy isn't she?" he said when he got his phone back to his ear.

"I don't know Castle." For one of the first times, he could hear the worry in her voice.

"Where was it that they found the lead?" he was determent to find her. Even if she didn't want to be found.

Lanie gave him the address.

"Espo and Ryan will pick you up!" Lanie said before he ended the call.

_What are you doing Kate?_ he thought by himself as he went out of the apartment to the front door waiting for Espo and Ryan to pick him up.

When Rick, Espo and Ryan arrived at the old crime scene they didn't see anything. No Kate no nothing…

"Where is she?" Rick knelt down at the place Espo pointed at.

"The body was found there."

"How was the body found?"

"It was a female, Katharine Hayes."

"Katherine?" Castle was shocked. "This can't be good… did you get the killer? Was there a motive?" Castle was rambling.

"No, never found the motive or the killer."

"So a random killing, killer never found? That's not good!"

"I know, but there were no leads. Just the name of the girl, and that she was stabbed 12 times."

"12? That's the number of years her moms dead!"

They were discussing the case some more when Castle suddenly noticed something on the floor.

"What's this liquid?" Castle asked as he took a deep breath thru his nose.

"Espo, what does this smells like?" Castle asked as he rubbed his head. He suddenly felt light headed.

"Drugs! That wasn't here before!" Espo said as he looked at Castle with a weird face. "What's the matter Castle?"

"I just feel sleepy suddenly." He said.

Ryan came around the corner, "Hey Guys? I found a hair, a long brown one."

"Castle, I think I know what that drug is!" Espo had a worried look on his face. "It's a mix of sleeping drugs, they are used a lot with rapists…"

At the sound of that Castle jumped up, "If anything happened to her…"

"Castle we don't know if she was here!"

"I know she was! Where else would she go if she went after the guys who killed her mom?"

"We'll run the hair for DNA. You go home!" Ryan ordered Castle as Castle touched his shoulder and moaned from pain.

Kate was still sitting in that damned chair with the bomb still set on 15:00. She was getting nervous from the timer, it was the only light coming from anywhere in the room. She guessed it was a basement with nothing in it. Whenever she made a sound, it has a small echo.

It wasn't the only thing going thru her mind. She was thinking if someone was ever going to find her, what was going to happen to her, nothing bad happened yet, accept that she was bound to a chair with a bomb under it. Then there was this last something on her mind, or better, someone.

Castle.

She missed him. Not only that, she was sitting there so long, thinking that she might not see him again, and all she could think about is how much she loves him! At one point she even let a tear escape from her eye, she couldn't even wipe it off. She couldn't believe that she was even crying over him, she didn't want to, but she did. What he did to her, she didn't want to believe he did it, but on the other hand, she thought it was sweet. He did it to protect her, but it wasn't okay for him to do such a thing.

As she laid her head back she heard footsteps. After minutes, no, hours, she saw the man again. This time with an even bigger smile than the last. She didn't know what it was about but she knew he wasn't just going to let her hang there. He had planned something. Maybe pull some sick pranks on her, maybe even kill her. That bomb wasn't running yet, but she knew that it would at some point.

"Hi Kate. I bet you are hungry, being here for so long. I really thought they would already be here. But since they aren't I decided why not have some fun? Don't you think?" He was teasing her. And she really didn't like the tone. When he mentioned that she would be hungry, she felt her stomach. She was starving. Just a piece of bread would help. While it was going thru her head, the man stepped closer.

"What?" Kate snapped at the man when he took her chin to point it at him. She looked in those dark eyes again.

"No need to be so cranky, you'll just make my fun bigger, and your pain worse." The man smiled. She hated that cocky smile of the man. If her hands and feet weren't tied she would've punched it off his face by now.

"What pain?" she didn't really ask it, more saying it like she was challenging him.

"The physical pain you are going to have, will be nothing compared to what your emotions will feel."

He grabbed her hair and pulled it back. The pain in from her head being pulled back hurt her, but what he did next discussed her. He sat on her lap, faced to her, and she couldn't do anything about it.

From her experience with interrogating people she normally saw what people where feeling. She could read them, but not this guy. This guy just stared at her, while still sitting on her lap. Doing nothing but staring. It felt like a staring contest, the first one to blink lost.

Than after a while, he pulled out the phone. Her phone. He still had one hand pulling her hair, holding her head into place as he let the message play again. As soon as she heard the words: _I love you Kate_ she flinched.

He saw it, and enjoyed. He finally got off her lap, put the phone away, but still had that hand in her hair. "So you really love him," he said with a smirk, "than he's not going to like this."

Before she even had time so response, or even look at what he was going to do the guy's lips where on hers. Soft, almost loving… She tried to turn her head away as soon as she knew what happened, but he held her hair strong and steady.

When he finally broke the kiss and left her hair fall back into place, she turned her head, spitted on her floor and looked back at the man.

"What the hell is your plan?" she yelled, hearing her echo on the walls.

"I told you already," he smiled, "I'm going to let you suffer! And at the end, you're going to beg me to kill you!"

"NEVER!" she yelled as she tried to get up. She failed.

His face turned into anger, but he didn't want her to notice, so he soon turned the anger back into a smile.

The next thing she knew, she felt a dazzling pain in her cheek. He had slapped her, hard! Her hands couldn't ease the pain. That was probably the worst thing, she being tied up that damned chair, hands behind her back, pain in her cheek and nothing she could do.

She turned back to him as he said, "you decided your own destiny! You ruined the plan! Now, you're going to be dead sooner than I planned!" He wasn't happy about it, and she didn't understand. _Why would he says that?_ She thought. It was only when the man took the blade out of his jacket and threw it on the floor, in front of her feet that she saw the flashing light of the timer shining in the blade. 14:30, 14:29; 14:28…

She sat the timer off!

**I bet I'll get some reviews that go like: "update soon!" well, I'll try! I'm already writing the next! I hope to get it uploaded saturday (my time)**

**I wanted to change the story, and as I wrote, I just had the idea of the timer going off now in my head. It wasn't until the last few lines that I knew what to do.**

**I hope you like it!**


	7. The bomb

**Chapter 7: the Bomb.**

**So I had a lot of homework, but I wrote though. I hope you like it.**

She didn't know what to do, she only had 14 minutes left, and the man was staring at her. Frustrated that his plan didn't go like the wanted, but he still showed that creepy smile. He said he was going to have some fun with her, and she didn't like that tone.

The blade he threw in front of her feet didn't help much. She couldn't reach for it and the only use it had was showing her the timer was still ticking…

She tried to release her hands from the rope, but it didn't work. She had the plan to turn the chair around, but she might set of the bomb to early and just die in the explosion. She didn't know what to do. But if she did nothing, she would just die.

As the man was watching her, she just tried to stand up her feet and turn around. The first time she tried, her just ended up back on the floor. She tried again, she wasn't giving up so soon. She tried again. _Yes!_ She thought as she saw the man back away, into the darkness. He must have decided to let her at least try to escape.

When she took a few tries, she got her feet loosened up a bit. She could stand up now without the chair, but her feet where still bound to the front of the chair. Her wrist where hurting when she tried to pull her arms under her butt to reach her feet. It took her a few tries, but she was happy it worked. She all did that while the timer was still ticking… it was now at 10 minutes. 10:00, 09:59, 09:58… She lost it a few moments, thinking about Castle, and what it might do to him, to find her here. Or rather, find her ashes if she wasn't fast enough.

She tried to untie the knot on her right foot first. It worked pretty fast, but the left one… it was like all the knots possible in one single knot. While she was untying the knot, she looked at the man, searching him again. Her eyes had to adjust a minute, but when she looked around she couldn't see him.

When she finally got that left knot figured out, the timer was at 8:48… She didn't really care about where the man was. She just left him for wherever he was and freed herself from the chair. The second she freed herself she saw the man step out of the dark with another knife in his right hand. Playing with it. She saw the man coming closer to the bomb and her. The smile from his face was gone as he said: "Before that bomb goes off, I want to have some fun!"

She tried to pick up the knife on the ground to defend herself, but she couldn't bend that far on those heels. And they were also to high to try and step over her arms tied up together. _I'm going to throw these shoes away if I ever get out of here. _She thought, _If I ever get out…_

The man was just getting closer, normally she wouldn't move. She would try to keep her dignity, but she had her hands tied up behind her, and he had the knife, so she took a few steps back, until she reached a wall. The concrete felt cold to her hands as they stroke against the wall. Trying to find a way out of this hell hole.

She looked both ways of the wall trying to find a door, or anything, but there was nothing but darkness surrounding her. Then she felt a cold metal against her cheek. She didn't even notice the ma coming closer. He held the knife against her cheek, with his left arm blocking the path on the left and with his body the right side of the cold concrete wall.

He wanted to have fun. And his idea of fun wasn't something she liked. It hurt her more than anything, that one single kiss he gave her. If felt loving in a sick sort of way. She didn't understand how a man this cold to kidnap her could be so gentle in another way. But just that he was gentle didn't mean she liked it. No, it disgusted her.

She had nowhere to go, and the situation wasn't looking good. 7 minutes till the bomb goes off and she was pushed against the concrete wall with a knife to her cheek. She didn't move and just stared in front of her, to the little light of the timer going fast to 00:00. Suddenly, without any warning she felt something in her neck. She wanted to slap it away but couldn't. When she realized it wasn't the knife she was relieved, but then she felt lips. He was kissing her! Again! But now in her neck. She was tired and hungry and she couldn't get her hands free, so she couldn't do anything about the mysterious man kissing her. But what she did do is step forward, the knife cutting into her cheek. She flinched at the pain.

When she freed from his arms and knife holding her against the wall, he was furious and pushed her forward. Kate fell on her knees and then straight forward. She hit her head on the floor and was fussy. Watching the timer as it showed she only had 6 minutes left to get out. Then her eyes fell on the knife as she heard footsteps approaching. She could just reach the knife and she took it into her mouth with the handle. She waited for the man to put a hand on her shoulder and whisper something in her ear: "I'm going to enjoy watching you die!" he smiled. She saw that as her cue and turned her head around. The knife sliding against the eyes corner of her kidnapper, all the way down the his chin as he pulled back. "You bitch!" he yelled. She sat up realizing she didn't have much time before he would get his revenge.

She sat up turning her hands towards her face as far as she could and turning her hand to the rope she was tied up with. She could get the knife to weaken the rope when she saw the man getting up again. "You'll regret this bitch!" he pulled he knife out of her mouth, picked her up to her feet and threw her on her back on the floor. She pulled her wrists apart, the rope almost burning into the flesh, but the rope was weakened enough for her to pull it apart. Her hands where free!

The man came at her with the knife and Kate wanted to jump up again, but before she knew, he was on top of her. "You already had the emotional, now the physical!" he said as he turned his knife in his hand. He tried to stab her, but she rolled away just in time, cutting a bit of her hair.

Those annoying high heels before would now be very useful. She pulled her feet up to her head to poke into the back of the man. Right against his spine. Score! But the victory wasn't for long. She pushed the man off and she ran to the bomb trying to defuse it. The timer was already at 3:30 minutes. She was thinking back at the time Castle yanked all the wires of the bomb in the black van. He saved her life, the life of innocent New Yorkers. That made her think about the day her stalker put a bomb in her apartment. He kicked down the door as she was naked in the bathtub. She almost laughed but when she got back out of her dreams she was grabbed from behind.

She was kicking her feet to try and get out of the grip of the man holding her down with a rope around her neck. She gasped for air as she finally got a hand free and took a shot at his head. It was a constant struggle between them. First she was getting pulled down, than he was fighting to get back up and grab her again.

As he was holding her he suddenly saw the timer: 1:30. He let her go, but only after he cut her arm with the knife. He sprinted out for the door. She barely knew what was going on when she heard a door slam shut. As she hold her left hand on the wound on her right arm, she looked at the timer. 1:25.

She only had a minute to defuse the bomb or she would be dead. She crawled over to the bomb and watched with only a little amount of light to the wires connected to the bomb. There were only 2 wires, that meant that if she pulled the wrong one, the bomb would blow up. But if she pulled both, it would still explode. It was one of those bombs…

She thought about her bomb training she once got. As she thought about it, she had seen that some crazy people changed the wires, so she would never be 100% sure if she would pull the right wire. The man made it hard for her so see. The bomb was at 1 minute now. Her heart was racing like crazy! She thought about Castle and that she would never see him again. She didn't want his last memory of her to be fighting with her and her kicking him out. She survived a bomb twice already, but she wasn't sure if she would make it this time. She almost froze to death, got a bullet in her chest and was almost seen as tiger kibble., she wanted it all to stop, she was almost killed so many times. Last time, in the Hudson River, she just gave up. She thought Castle drowned already and she didn't want to live without him… A tear rolled down her cheek hit the floor. She only had 30 seconds left to pull the correct wire. 29… 28… 27.. 26… 25… She took a wire waited for the clock to hit 00:10 said: "I love you Rick… Always" and pulled the wire…

**I didn't let Castle come in this chapter. The next chapter will be what Castle did while this chapter was playing OR just continue this one, you need to choose. But review soon than bcs I'll start writing tomorrow!**


	8. Riddles

**Chapter 8: Riddles…**

**So the first reviews I got, where all to go on with it, and not to do a 'meanwhile with Rick'**

**So I wrote on! I really hope you all like it!**

**I'm sorry that I couldn't get it up on Saturday, I had more homework than thought and I had something that took all afternoon, so I couldn't write, sorry. I hope you don't shoot me ;)**

**Enjoy!**

Always she thought as she pulled the wire out of the explosives. She squinted her eyes for the blow to hit her. But it never came. She quickly opened her eyes to see the timer had stopped! 00:09 showed. She had saved herself, for now…

She turned around, searching the room. She went as far away from the bomb as possible until she reached the wall. She searched each side until she found a door. She pulled the handle. She wanted to pull the door open, but she couldn't. She tried again. "Damn! Locked." She said to herself but then she stood still for a moment. "What if…" she said as she pushed the handle down and put her full weight on the door to push it open. To her big surprise it opened. She felt so stupid! She walked through the door as she walked into another room, this one was light up the second she walked in. It hurts in her eyes. From what she can see from her almost closed eyes, everything is white. She turned around to investigate the room and her eyes fell on a glass sort of cube in the middle of the room. Then her eyes fell on a shadow. _The man!_ And before she knew it, she fell down and everything went black again.

Rick slammed his hand on his desk, harder then necessary. He already knew the DNA would be from Kate, but he didn't want to believe it. They had to wait so long for the DNA results. They didn't know where she was, and what scared him the most was the fact not knowing who took her, and what they might do to her.

He took some pain medication and walked out the door. He would search the whole world to find her. Since Alexis was at collage now, and his mother busy with her acting school, he would have no distractions and just be looking for her all day long. He grabbed some lunch and a coffee and headed out to the 12th.

When the elevator doors opened he saw the two detectives he was looking for walking towards him. "Do we have a lead?" he asked hopefully.

"Yeah, actually we do!" Ryan said as they walked into the elevator.

"How?" he asked. He realized the crime scene was as clean as it could be, so where did the lead come from?

"We found something on our vic's body that we missed." Ryan said and Espo added: "Probably because Lanie wasn't examining it. She was sick at the time."

Without further questioning they went after the lead. Castle didn't care where it came from, he just wanted to find Kate and bring her home!

Kate woke up. The white light was almost blinding her. She realized everything that happened before she got knocked out. She was surprised by the man because the light was to bright. He caught her by surprise and hit her in the head. When she got a little used to the light she looked around but she saw only reflections of herself. She was in a small cube. When she looked up, she saw a showerhead, but no handle to put the water on or off. She looked down at her feet, no vent. Her eyes widened open by the thought of what the man might do to her, and she realized she was in the cube she saw before. She was trapped again, only this time, her hands weren't tied up.

She stood up, right after that she heard a voice but she couldn't see anyone.

"Conscious again I see." She recognized the voice of the man that was with her in the other room. The one with the bomb.

She looked around, trying to find a way out, or some kind of door. With no success.

"This time, you won't get out." The man smiled. Not that it mattered because she couldn't see him. He pushed a button and suddenly, her gaze met his. She were staring at each other, through the glass.

"The glass works like the glass from interrogation rooms, only I can turn the effect on and off!" He said with a sense of pride in his voice.

She saw that this time she was smaller than before, she looked down at her feet and realized she hadn't had shoes on. In fact, she couldn't find anything on her that could break the glass with. This time she really was powerless. She was locked up in a glass cube and he was the one with the remote to control everything.

"We are going to play a little game." The man said, he saw the confused look in her eyes that she tried to hide so he explained. "I'm going to ask you questions, if you lie, or answer incorrect, I'll let the water run. And as you see, it can't go anywhere." He walked around the cube.

She figured she had no choice but play along. If she wanted to get out of here, she would need to answer the questions, even if she didn't want to. Else, she would drown. "Fine." She snapped at the man. "First question," he said as he stood still and held his thumb on the button.

Rick stood outside a giant building. They were somewhere on the side of NYC and they where certain to find Kate. Rick stared at the building while the guys where prepping to go in. Rick thought, if this was one of my books, where would she be?

He was snapped out of the trance when Espo told Castle he should stay in the car. It took a few moments for the words to sink in, but when they did he turned to Espo. "No! I'm not going to stay here! I'm going to find her!" he took his vest out of the trunk. With 'WRITER' still written on it. He left it behind when he took off, but they kept it. He put the vest on.

"You should be armed, we don't know with whom where dealing with." Ryan said as he gave a gun to Castle.

They opened the door. Espo leading them in Castle behind him and Ryan last. The building was split in 3 sections. "People used to do all sorts of tests here," Ryan said earlier. He wanted to answer with something hopeful like, maybe he kept her here because no one would hear or see anything. But he knew it wasn't that easy. Whoever kept Kate, kept her here so that he could torture her with the test rooms still in the building. He heard there was a room for tests with water, with fire, even with wind an extreme cold or hot weather. The thought of Kate being tortured made his neck hairs stand up.

He focused on the mission again and went into the first section, the one for the fire tests.

"The first three questions were answered correct. Now I'll ask you some riddles. Answer them wrong and I'll push the button." The man informed Kate. The first three questions where easy, random questions, but she had the feeling it wasn't going to be easy anymore. _Why riddles?_ She asked herself, knowing that it could go wrong very fast.

"If you have it, you have it. But if you share it, you lose it. What is it?" the man asked. Kate thought about everything she could think of. After a few seconds the man added, "there's a time limit you know…" and smiled.

_God! What could it be!_ She thought. Than it popped into her head, she heard this one before from Castle when he tried to be funny while she was doing paperwork.

The man went for the button. "Wait! I know what it is!" she yelled. The man nodded.

"A secret!" she answered.

"Correct." He answered and the smile he had disappeared for a second.

"Second riddle, I am the fountain from which no one can drink. Like gold to all I am sought for, but my continued death brings wealth for all to want more. What am I?"

_Oh god! _Kate thought as she repeated the words in her head. _Like gold to all I am sought for… Oil!_

"Oil! The answer is oil!" she yelled as the man. Her nerves rising with every step the man took.

"Last riddle," the man said. The smile on his face was much less than before.

"I am bigger than an elephant, but lighter than a feather. What am I?"

This one she really had never heard. _Come on! What is lighter than a feather? But bigger than an elephant?_

After 10 seconds, she still didn't know. "Not so smart now are we Kate." he smiled and pushed the button.

Kate felt the ice cold water spray on her the moment he pushed the button. She tried to find a way out, out of the cold water rising beneath her feet, out of this stupid cube! She had nowhere to go.

The man pushed the button again, making the water stop. "Because I'm in a good mood, I'll give you another chance. But if you don't answer the riddle correct, the water will keep running and you will drown…" he almost said that last part like he was sad about it… like he wanted to keep this game going.

"This is an easy one, just think logical. A blue house is made of blue bricks, a yellow house of yellow bricks and a red house of red bricks. What is a green house made of?"

She knew this one, he was right it really was an easy one: "Glass."

"Correct, next riddle…" _Gosh, does this ever end? Except for me dying?_ She asked herself.

"What has roots as nobody sees. Is taller than trees. Up, up it goes. And yet never grows?"

"What the…" she said as she thought about everything higher, taller than trees.

Apparently it took her to long, because she felt the ice cold water run again. She knocked on the glass and demanded to know the answer.

"A mountain!" the man smiled and took out Kate's phone. He put it on the ground. Kate saw he was calling someone. She saw the caller ID. _Castle!_

"Guys?" Castle asked as he took his phone out of his pocket. Causing Ryan and Espo to give him a strange look.

"Kate is calling!" he took up. "Kate?" Kate are you there?" when there was no answer he panicked and yelled into the phone. "KATE!" he put it on speaker and it was then that they heard it. Water! There was water running where ever Kate was. Castle's mind went immediately to the water test rooms.

"R-R-rick!" they heard a soft voice. "Kate? where are you?" he asked.

"H-help m-m-me!" they heard as the water continued to run.

"We're coming!" he said as he ran through the door out of the first section and into the second.

**I'm sorry I didn't unload it yesterday, but I only had 1 page then. So I wrote about 2 pages in just a few hours. I hope you liked it! Please keep reviewing! It makes me smile!**

**This one is a little longer but I wanted to have the phone call in this chapter.**


	9. Last Breath

**Chapter 9: Breath**

**The number of people keep adding this to story alert or favorite story makes me smile! Still, after all this time. I even got 1 or 2 favorite author & author alerts! To all my readers: Thank you so much!**

**I skip a few times between Kate and Rick's perspective at the beginning of the chapter. Bu I hope you'll get it.**

**Enjoy!**

Kate heard Castle's voice. It was just whisper to her with all the water filling the cube. The water already reached her knees and the man had left. Leaving her to die. But in some way he did call Castle so that they could find her. Why she didn't know, but she didn't really care, she just wanted to get out of this freaking building! "R-R-Rick!" she was shivering from the cold water. She heard his voice again. "H-help m-m-me!" she managed to get out. The water was getting to her thighs "Rick!" she yelled once again and this time she heard a clear answer back: "I'm coming Kate! Hold on!" She tried to move her toes but she didn't feel them anymore. She was sure the water was only 3°C.

She realized Castle wouldn't know what was happening. "Rick! T-the water… it's- it's rising s-s-so fast! Hurry-y!" she yelled to the phone. She tried breaking the glass with her hands, but nothing worked, it was too thick.

Rick ran as fast as he could and checked every room in the section. Ryan and Espo a little behind him. He just kept running and listening to Kate. it's been a little over minute since he picked up the phone and she was in big danger. It was then that he heard her yell: "Rick! T-the water… it's- it's rising s-s-so fast! Hurry-y!"

He knew he didn't have long. Her voice was shivering more than before indicating she was really cold. He ran through the long hallway and checked every door he came across and lost Espo and Ryan somewhere behind him. "I c-can't… R-rick! H-help!" he heard once more as he saw white light coming from under a door just a few feet further. He ran to it and tried to open it, locked! "Kate! Kate? I'm here! I'm coming!" he yelled as he tried to open the door. He put his full force on the door and slammed against it. But nothing worked. "Rick!" he heard and then the water stopped running. He couldn't hear anything. He panicked, pull out his gun and shot to lock.

Kate call out to Rick, "I c-can't… R-rick! H-help!" the water was at her chest and she tried to swim to keep her chin above the water. She was so cold. She saw the handle of the door move and heard Rick's voice. She felt like she was trapped in the car again. Drowning and not being able to do anything about it. She was fighting to stay above the water but she couldn't feel her arms and legs. She help up her head called out again, "Rick!" she yelled out. "I love you" she whispered as the water reached the top. Her hands pushed against the glass as she held her breath in the ice cold water. Her face was pale and lips so blue. She had her eyes locked on the door as she saw the door move and break open. She saw Castle running in to the room. He stopped for a moment when he realized what was happening. He had the gun in his hands, until it fell out of his hand and ran over to the glass cube. "Hold on Kate!" he practically sobbed as he put his hands at the same place her hands where.

The way she was floating in the tank made his body shiver. He ducked for the gun and tried to break the glass with the back off it but it didn't work. As he lifted his eyes back to Kate's. He almost fell down when he saw her eyes were closed. She wasn't moving, and her lips parted and a little bubble of air came out of her mouth. "Kate" the name left his mouth so quiet that no one but him could hear it. "Castle?" he heard Espo and Ryan yell from the hallway. He couldn't move as he stared at her body float in the cube. He felt hands pull him away and heard a gunshot followed by water flowing over the floor. He snapped out of the trance he was in and crawled over to Kate's pale body as Espo started to perform CPR and Ryan calling the hospital.

Rick was brushing his fingers through Kate's hair and Espo still preformed CRP and Ryan was outside to lead the paramedics into the room. "Come on Kate! I love you!" he sobbed as a tear escaped from his eye and landing on Kate's cheek. Before he could wipe it off the paramedics arrived and Espo pulled him out of the way. "I love you Kate" he said pressing a kiss on her forehead as Kate was laid down on the stretcher.

Kate saw Rick grabbing the gun that fell on the floor before. And then she felt the need for fresh air. She did everything she could to get some more time. She wanted to scream, call out for help but her body was numb and she felt herself slip away from her body. She's dying, and she couldn't do anything about it. She closed her eyes, let her hands slip of the glass and let a bubble of air escape her lips.

Rick sat in the hallway of the hospital. He was sitting there for over an hour now and his mind was racing when Alexis and Martha came through the door. Alexis ran up to her dad and hugged him. "Is she alive? Is she going to be okay? Did you get the person who did this?" the questions came over her lips so fast that Rick didn't even have time to stop her. "Did you get any news?" Martha asked Lanie, Espo and Ryan who were sitting next to Rick.

Ryan shook his head. Lanie buried her face back into the shoulder of Espo seeking comfort. She didn't know if she would ever see her best friend again. She knew she was a fighter but what she had been through, not only now, also the sniper, drowning in the Hudson river, almost being eaten by a tiger and then almost drowning again… it had become too much for her. She didn't know how much more her best friend could take.

Rick was over thinking everything again. When he heard the questions from Alexis, he realized he never saw anyone else but Espo, Ryan and Kate in the building. Espo and Ryan already said they checked the place real quick when Kate was in the ambulance. There was another room, with a bomb! When he heard that, he almost fell down. And now, just thinking of it made him glad she was able to defuse it. She must have been going through hell! First being kidnapped, drugged, being tied up and defusing a bomb. And if that wasn't enough, she was held hostage in a cube made off glass that was filling up with water. He was sure that she would need to go to that shrink again! But first she had to wake up and live!

Just as Castle was about to ask the person at the desk again if she knew anything, a doctor came out of the big doors. Looking for them. He looked pretty smart, but serious. A little to serious for Castle as he already thought of the words that he was about to speak.

To his surprise the face of the doctor lightened up a bit as he said stratifying words: "She's going to be okay. She's stabile and we've managed to get her body temperature back up, but she's on bed rest and sleeping now." The doctor turned around and leaded the way: "You can all go see her now."

**I know it's a short chapter, but I really wanted to get this up tonight. I had more homework than first expected, but now I don't have school on Thursday and Friday, so I can write a little longer. I'm not completely happy with the way this chapter is. But I really got stuck… Please keep reviewing!**


	10. Sleep

**Chapter 10: Sleep**

**Sorry, I tried to get this chapter done by Thursday, but I had nothing (!) then…**

**I basically wrote this whole story in just a night. No… I did…**

**I hope you like this chapter, Enjoy!**

When he walked into the room, she was so peaceful asleep. Her face was still a little pale but she looked healthier, warmer. He was so satisfied that he could see her chest moving up and down. He was happy to see her breathing.

He stood in the doorway for a second and then he pulled up the chair next to the hospital bed and took Kate's hand. He squished it and wanted to lean forward to kiss her forehead but since the rest was coming in the room he held himself back.

The gang was talking and trying to sheer up the mood, for both themselves and Rick. But Rick didn't listen to the jokes, he just sat by her side, squishing her hand at least once a minute to see if he could get a response. But Kate stayed asleep, pretty as a rose, but he wanted her awake.

It was pretty late and Ryan, Lanie & Espo left to get food and go home. Jenny expected Ryan and Espo and Lanie would go home together. They started dating again a while ago, and now they needed each other.

"Come on Richard. You need to sleep!" Martha said to her son who was still sitting in the same position as a few hours ago.

"I'll come home when she wakes up. If that takes her a day, I'll stay, if it takes a week, I'll stay, even if it takes her a month, I'll stay here!" Rick wasn't leaving her. He practically caused this, and he was going to make sure he didn't do anything like this ever again. That she wasn't going to do anything like this again.

Martha sighed.

"I'm going to stay by her side." He said and stood up from the chair, gave his daughter a kiss on the forehead and told them to go home.

After they left, he sat back down in the chair next to the bed and took her hand again. He bent forward and kissed her forehead again. "I'll be right here Kate. Always." He squished her hand, he waited for a response and as he looked at her hand in his, her index finger lifted up a little. She was there and okay! He settled in the chair and watched her sleep before the sleep caught up with him. He closed his eyes and went to sleep. Right next to her.

Kate was confused. She looked around in the room and saw Castle sitting next to her. Holding her hand. She wanted to move but didn't find the strength to do it. She was weak from what had happened to her. But she was safe now.

She looked at her partner sleeping in a hospital chair. Then she looked at the clock on the wall. 2 am and he was still here, by her side. She thought about waking him up but as she watched him sleep she found it better to watch him sleep. Let him rest. He must have been looking for her. And she didn't know exactly how long she was gone, but the rings under Castle's eyes told her that he hadn't slept in at least 2 days.

Her mind went back to the bright room with the cube of glass filled with water. She was just so helpless in that damned cube. She was freezing and just didn't have the strength to fight the cold anymore.

Her eyes where filling with tears but she blinked them away. Although no one would see them, she didn't want to cry. Everything was okay now. She was in the hospital, Castle by her side. She laughed and thought _I'm safe!_

She watched Castle sleep and after half an hour, she fell asleep.

When Rick woke up and realized where he was, he smiled. He was happy that she was in the hospital, with Kate, safe! He realized her hand wasn't below his so he turned his head around. When he saw the empty sheets he freaked! He jumped up and looked around like a lost puppy looking for his boss.

"Kate!" nothing. He grabbed for his phone and yelled again.

"Kate?" it was silent but then he heard noise coming out of the bathroom.

"Kate?" he asked this time scared…

"Castle…" he heard a tired voice coming from the bathroom.

"Are you okay?" he was worried and a little scared.

"I'm fine, Castle."

"Good," he sighed, "I'm glad!"

When Kate came out of the bathroom, she had to lean on the doorframe to stand up. Castle practically ran to Kate and helped her to get to her bed.

"Castle… just…" she said when he put her arm over his shoulders.

"No Kate! I'm not going to let you slip through my fingers again!" he scooped her off her feet. With one arm under her knees and one under her arms he put her into the hospital bed.

"Castle I'm fine! I'm not even hurt!"

"Kate, you have a cut in your cheek, you disabled a bomb and you almost drowned! So don't tell me you're fine and not hurt because I know you are." He said it calm and steady, he wasn't mad at her, how could he be! But he wasn't leaving her side again.

"Fine, point taken. But you can go home now." Kate said after a while.

"Kate! I'm not going to leave you alone! Last time I did that, I got you into this mess."

"Rick, it's not your fault!" Kate was now completely back into her bed. She was tired although she had slept a little less than 12 hours since it was now 9 in the morning.

"Yes, it is! Or at least part of it is! And I don't ever want to cause something like that again! And I'll make sure you never do anything like that again!"

They were silent for a long time, at least it seemed like a long time.

"Rick, I'm tired, you should go home." She said, almost asleep.

"Kate, I'm not going anywhere. You should rest, but I'm not going anywhere!" he said as he took her hand.

"Rick…" she sighed

"I love you Kate, and I'm not going to argue with you. Now sleep!" he smiled.

"I just wanted to say I love you too…" she said before she turned her head and went to sleep. Leaving him with a smile on his face and a surprised look. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

"Goodnight."

**So I wrote this just now and I'm a little tired because where I live, it's close to midnight and I had a long day! I hope I can update soon. Keep reviewing, and I'll keep smiling!**


	11. A morning surprise

**Chapter 11: a morning surprise.**

**So I thought I would be able to write a lot since I got Thursday and Friday of, but I didn't bcs I was pretty busy with homework one day, the other with shopping… and now again homework. But I try!**

**I thought about a fanfic I read once and got an idea from that. I'm not copying the story, just an idea. And the idea starts in this chapter! Exited? Enjoy!**

Right before she opened her eyes she thought of the words he said to her. _I am not going to leave you alone! _And _I'm not going anywhere._

And then there was this one more line she remembered, just before she fell asleep. _I love you Kate._

Then she opened her eyes and turned her head to expect him sitting or sleeping in the chair. Cute as he was! Now he was the one missing. He told her he was going to be there. She shouldn't have expected that from him, to be there. He had a family to take care of, but still, he told her…

"Rick?" she asked but she soon realized no one was going to hear her since her voice was barely louder than a whisper.

"Rick? Where are you?" she said again, meant for Rick but no one replied.

Before she could do anything a nurse walked in. "Good morning Detective Beckett. Good news, you'll be released today!"

Kate was happy with that, but she still didn't see Castle in the room.

"You can change into your clothes that your friends brought for you and then you'll just need to sign a release form." The nurse walked out of the room giving Kate privacy.

Kate picked up her phone and pressed speed dial. After a ring from her phone she heard Castle's ringtone in the room. "What the…" she said and she got out of the bed trying to find where the melody was coming from. She looked under the bed, nothing. She turned her head to look beneath the chair. There it was. His phone with her face on the screen and big letters KATE Beckett beneath it the photo.

She called Espo and told him to come to the hospital as soon as possible. "Why?" she heard Espo say, "You're okay right?" he asked before she could tell what was going on.

"Espo, I'm fine. It's Castle! He's missing!"

"Kate, he can just be home if he's not there…"

"No Javi! He told me he would stay here! And his phone is still here." She turned around in the room trying to find anything else of Castle, "And his jacket to!"

"We'll be right there!" Espo said before he hung up.

Kate figured she should change into her normal clothes and call Martha.

Martha took her phone of the counter and looked at the caller ID.

"Hello Kate! Everything good there in the hospital?" she asked not knowing her day was going to be ruined in the next few seconds.

"I'm good. But is Castle there?" Kate tried not to sound worried.

"No Kate, he isn't. I thought he was with you?"

"Emh… he isn't. When I woke up he was gone. I tried to call him but his phone must have fell out of his pocket as he stood up from the chair because I found it under the chair." Kate didn't mean to say that last part but it came out so fast. She just didn't know where he could be.

Martha didn't know what to say, "Kate, I don't know… where he could be." She broth her hand up to her forehead as she fell the worry for her son being missing rise to her head.

"Martha, we'll find him! I'll find him! Even if it's the last thing I do, I will find him!" she convinced he worried mother. "I gotta go now, okay. But I'll update you when I can!" Kate said before she hung up.

Kate was, luckily, fully clothed when Espo and Ryan arrived. "Hey. Any news from Castle?"

"No, sorry. Since he doesn't have his phone we can't track it. We'll be talking to the staff. See if they saw anything…" Ryan said and walked out, took his note book and pen and went to the hospital staff.

"You sure he didn't just went for a coffee, Kate?" Espo asked, and he soon realized he shouldn't have asked it. She looked at him with a look that expressed her anger, fear and disappointment in him for asking that and in herself. She blamed herself, they didn't even know the hole story but she knew the guy who took her, now took him!

"Because he told me that he would stay here. He told me he wasn't going to leave!"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry Kate." he said and when he saw how miserable she was. He knew from Lanie that they kissed right before she disappeared. "Hey… we'll find him!" he said and pulled her into a hug.

Ryan came back in the room, "Hey, hospital staff said that they saw Castle leaving with another man a few hours ago. We're working on a sketch right now. If he's the guy that took you, can you identify him?"

"Yeah. He came… close enough." She said a little embarrassed that she let that happen.

Espo and Ryan dismissed it and went back to the hospital staff to get the sketch.

Martha walked upstairs in desperate need of a hug since she just found out that her son was missing. She didn't know what to say to Alexis but she knew she would need a hug. "Alexis hunny, can I come in?" she asked as she knocked on the bedroom door. She waited a few seconds but there never came an answer. She knocked again. "Alexis, hunny Are you there?"

Still no answer. She must be sleeping she thought, but that's not like her to sleep this late.

She opened the bedroom door. The curtains where still closed so there was no light coming through the window.

"Rise and shine Alexis!" she said as she opened the curtains. But when she turned around she was shocked to find that the bed was empty. It hadn't been made up so she defiantly slept here that night. And it was too early for her to have woken up before Kate called.

She went into the bathroom to see if she maybe was there. But no, she was nowhere in the house. Not in her dad's bedroom, not in the study, not in the kitchen. Nowhere!

Martha started to panic and grabbed her cell phone. She hit the speed dial #2 to call Alexis. It rang a few times and went to voicemail. She tried a few times, but every time it went to voicemail.

She was feeling sick. This was not normal! She called Kate.

"Martha, have you heard something?" she heard on the other side of the line.

"Kate…" she didn't know how to say this, "Alexis is missing!"

**I tried to upload this chapter last night but that wasn't possible with all the homework. I hope you enjoyed! I'm going to try and upload the next chapter before the weekend. **

**Keep to reviews coming, I practically run on them now that I have to wait until September.**


	12. I Will Wait For You

**Chapter 12:**

**I'm sorry that I haven't updated sooner, but I'm getting my final exams of the year and I need to start learning and with all the homework, and all the hot weather it's hard to focus on writing.**

**I'm sorry miniwriter305, the answer to your question: not so much. But this chapter will be the answer!**

"Dad!" Alexis yelled as he shook her dad so he would wake up. "DAD! WAKE UP!" she yelled, the fear exposing in her voice. She didn't know where she was, and she didn't know what happened. She only knew that she had been kidnapped and that her dad was kidnapped.

"What? Alexis? What's wrong?" he asked confused.

"Dad, we- we've been kidnapped! Do you know where we are?"

Rick looked around. It wasn't the warehouse where the man earlier took Kate. he didn't know where they were. There was light, but not much. He wanted to panic and freak out for a moment before he remembered to stay calm and think about the training he once took.

He stood up, looked around to check out the room. Alexis followed him quickly.

"I have no idea…"

Kate took a look at the sketch. She saw one little glimpse of it and she remembered his face only inches from hers.

"I guess, from the look on your face, that's the guy who kidnapped you?" Ryan said as he took the sketch from Kate's hands.

"Yeah…" she answered and turned back to Espo. "Anything on their phones?"

"Yeah, Castle's phone is on. We traced it and well, take a look" he said as he turned the screen to them.

"He's at the same warehouse I was?" she was surprised.

"We have to get there as soon as…" Espo was interrupted by Kate's phone. She took one look at the screen and her face lit up. "It's Castle!"

"Rick? Are you ok…" she said but then heard laughing on the other end of the line.

"What have you done to him!" she snapped at the man. Espo and Ryan now turning to her.

"Oh, I think you know Kate." the playfulness of his voice clear.

"Don't do anything to them!"

"Well that depends on you"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, if you come to the warehouse, alone, I'll let them live. If you don't come, or if you don't come alone, I'll slid the pretty redhead's throat, in front of her dad of course!"

The thought alone from Alexis being hurt made her eyes wet.

"I'll come" Ryan and Espo turned their head to her again, "Alone."

"I will wait for you." He said as he hung up.

**I know this is a really short chapter. But I really wanted to end it like this. The next ones won't be this short (and won't take this long to write).**

**So my exams are over, so I should be able to write again. I haven't wrote in 4 weeks, I'm really sorry! I hope you enjoy this short one, and I hope I can get the next few chapters written quickly and upload one or two them in the weekend.**


	13. Who's it going to be?

**Chapter 13 (I love that number!)**

**Who's it going to be?**

**So I got reviews saying for me to write on, well I'm not gonna stop! c;**

**Sorry if the chapters aren't that long as before, but I want to upload as fast as I can.**

"Kate, you're not going to that place again. And especially not alone!" Ryan said protective of Kate.

"You know what he said…" it took her a moment to say the words, "he was going to slid Alexis' throat, in front of Castle, if I didn't come alone."

Ryan and Espo didn't know what to say. It was not like them could hide anywhere because the warehouse was abandoned and stood alone around some land from a farm.

"Okay, we won't go with you." Espo said by Kate's surprise.

"But if you're not out of there by sunrise, we're coming over there."

"Thank you guys." She said as she took her keys of her desk and ran over to the elevator.

"There's no way we're going to wait that long." Ryan stated to his partner.

"Nope, but we'll wait. We don't want them to get hurt."

Kate stepped out of her car. It was parked in front of the warehouse. She turned to the warehouse and the 2 big doors opened. She took one last look outside, wondering if she would ever see the light of day again after this. _God, that sounds so unoriginal… _she thought. But it might be right… she might have to give her life for the man she loves, and his daughter, but if that's the case, she'll do it without a doubt.

Rick and Alexis heard a door unlock. Rick grabbed Alexis' hand and they walked towards where the noise had come from. Rick put his hand on the knob and twisted it. The door opened and they were welcomed by light. They turned around when they heard a voice coming from the speakers.

_Welcome Detective Beckett._

Alexis and Rick looked at each other. "Is Kate here?" Alexis asked.

"Apparently…" was the only thing he could think of to reply.

"What is she doing here?"

Alexis' question got answered as they heard the voice again.

_Come to save their lives I see…_

"What do you want? Let them go, and I'll give it to you!" she said in the big room she was standing it. She knew who she was talking to, she just didn't know where to look.

_Walk to the first door on your right, and wait there for further instructions._ He announced.

She did what he said, she knew it wasn't right, but she had to. To save Alexis and Castle.

Rick looked around in the room as he saw that 1 of the 4 walls was completely made out of glass. He saw the door on one end of the room open. "Kate!" he yelled as he saw her walking into the room. The knocked on the glass as she looked up and met his gaze.

"Are you 2 okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, we're good, for now. But… what are you doing here?"

"If I wouldn't show up he was going to… to" she really didn't know how to say it, "well, hurt you really bad." She decided to go with that, realizing it wasn't really comforting…

_Can we go on then?_ They both heard the man behind the speaker say. Alexis looked at her dad, than to Kate.

Kate nodded into nowhere. "What do I have to do?"

_Take your handcuffs and cuff yourself._

She knew she should do this, but she really had no choice.

"Kate, don't do this. We'll be fine!" Rick couldn't convince her as Kate took the cuffs, put them around one wrist.

_Behind your back detective._

With a sigh she put her hands behind her own back and put the second cuff on the other wrist.

Alexis stood next to her dad. "What is going on around here." Putting it more as a statement then a question.

"I have no clue." Rick said.

Kate felt like she was useless. She knew that some 'challenge' was coming. He wasn't just going to let Alexis and Rick out of here if he had her.

She heard the door open as she was in the same room as that man again. Kate met his gaze for a second when she snapped at him. "Tell me what you want!"

The man just laughed. "You detective, but now that I have that, I want to make your boyfriend over there jealous."

Rick balled his fists, "You stay away from her!" he yelled. The man looked at Castle as he pulled out his knife and before Kate, Rick and Alexis knew it, he was standing behind Kate with the knife to her throat.

Rick slammed his fist against the glass. "Don't you dare touch her!"

He was just encouraging the man. He grabbed, with the hand not holding the knife, Kate's hair and pulled her head back. He moved his head to Kate's neck as he planted a soft his on the side of it. Kate growled at him. "Let them go!"

"Oh, I'll let Rick make the choice." He turned his head back to Rick.

"You get the choice Rick: Either you pick Kate, and you come down here while I'll get Alexis. Or you stay there, with Alexis and I'll get Kate to myself."

**So? What do you think?**

**Wrote this in just an hour, so that's good. I didn't quit know how to make him choose, getting Alexis trapped or something like that. But I think this is good.**

**If you have comments, let me know; good or bad.**

**You got 2 chapter short after each other bcs I hadn't uploaded in a long, long time. So that next chapter will be somewhere next week.**

**XX**


	14. What If

**Chapter 14. What if…**

**There's a lot of changing perspectives at first, I hope you can follow with it. **

**Thank you all for the awesome reviews! About the errors: I work with Microsoft Word so most of them do get corrected, not always right, I know. But I'm not English either so sorry if there still are a few. I'll try to watch them.**

**Ps: the characters might be out of character, but this is fanfiction… Everything's possible.**

**pss: i acctualy didn't want to upload this until tomorrow, but as you see, i couldn't stop myself (again)... Have fun reading it!**

Rick stared into Kate's eyes, then into Alexis'. He didn't know what to do. He loved Kate so, so much, but he also loved his daughter.

Kate knew that Rick had to make a choice. And she knew what that was going to be.

Kate turned her head to the man that was still holding her tight. "Just let them go, take me, but let them go!"

Alexis stared at Kate and her dad. She was scared, really scared. She didn't want Kate to get hurt, but neither did she want to risk her own life for Kate. "Dad…"

Rick look at his daughter, back at Kate. What he saw in Kate's eyes was fear and love, but he also saw understanding. He put his hand onto the glass.

"Who's it going to be? Your daughter or your girlfriend?" the man laughed.

"I'm so sorry Kate…" he said as he looked into her beautiful green eyes. Rick took Alexis' hand.

Kate was expecting it, but she was still surprised. A wave of defeat came over her as she felt her knees weaken.

"Go through the door on your left, there you will find an emergency exit. Then you'll be outside, if you return inside, I'll kill her, so just walk through that door, and don't look back." The man said with joy.

"I Love you Kate." he said and gave her one more look before he took Alexis with him, walked through the door that unlocked when the man pressed a button on some kind of remote.

When they were out of the observation room, Alexis turned to her dad. "You can't just leave her here! You can't just let that man hurt her!" Alexis said to her dad as she got tears in her eyes.

"I'm not. As soon as I know you're safe, I'm coming back here with Esposito and Ryan." He reassured the teen staring at him.

"And for now? Are you just going to let him hurt her?"

"No Alexis! I'm getting you safe. Now!" he said as he opened the emergency exit and pulled Alexis with him.

The man was still holding Kate like before. "No…" was all Kate could whisper as she hear a door slam shut. Now he knew Rick and Alexis were out of the building.

"Seems like he left you. Oh well, more fun for me." As soon as he let go of her, and took the cuffs off of her, she collapsed onto her knees. She expected it, and she wanted Alexis to be safe, but she still wondered how he could just leave her. A tear ran over her cheek. She whipped it off as soon as she realized it. She didn't want the man to find out, she had to be strong. She put her feet under her body and told herself to stand up.

She turned back to the man, who was now standing at the door, and looked him straight in the eyes. "I guess you get what you want."

Rick dragged Alexis into the loft, grabbed the phone, ignored his mother and called Esposito and Ryan.

Ryan picked up the phone and before he could say anything he pulled the phone away from his ear and yelled into it: "Whoa! Castle, slow down! Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Kate isn't!"

"What's wrong with Kate? Is she okay?" Ryan asked as he waved to Esposito who was getting himself something from the snack machine.

"No, she isn't! that guy made me choose between my daughter and Kate. He was going to kill one of them! Kate had the most chance against him I figured…"

"What were you thinking leaving her! Where are you?"

"I'm in my loft."

"Why didn't you call us sooner?"

"I don't know… Ryan you got to save her!"

Ryan and Espo ran to the elevator and tried to call Kate. "Come on, pick up Kate!"

Kate heard her phone ring, she quickly grabbed it as she kept an eye on the man. But he didn't do anything. "Tell him you're okay." was all he said. She picked up the phone and Esposito's voice warmed her heart. She needed it.

"Kate, You okay? Where are you?"

"Yes, I'm okay. For now." She said as her glimpsed at the man again. Who, to her surprise, hadn't done anything. "I'm still in the room Castle left me."

"With the guy?" Ryan asked with a surprised voice.

"Yeah…"

"Hang on, okay. We're coming to get you!"

"Okay." she said before she hung up and turned back to the man, who now had a knife into his hand again and was playing with it.

"If you're going to kill me, just do it." She said trying to sound confident.

"Oh, I'm not just going to kill you, I'm going to torture you. And when you're friends get here, they will see you have been tortured and they will almost kill themselves thinking, What if…"

Kate took in all the information she just got and simply nodded her head.

"Seeing there's no way out of here, why don't you start." she said, completely tired of life and what had happened to her. She was going to fight, but she knew he would win eventually. And also she began to wonder: What If…

**I guess you are all dying to read the next chapter. I got a bit stuck in the middle, but I didn't write about a hole day, and I just went to Rock Werchter Classic (pretty famous festival in Belgium) and got my mind cleared from all the stress, and got back into writing as soon as I woke up the next day.**

**I want to thanks you all for the amazing reviews I got. Some of them saying I should keep writing, I also got some PM's saying I'm a great writer. Thanks you so much if you are one of them!**

**I love to keep reading reviews. One of the things I love after uploading a story.**


	15. Hold On

**Chapter 15. Hold on.**

**I didn't notice how short my chapter actually were… in Word it's 2 pages, but on fanfiction it's totally not much!**

**To the person who asked me how he got his phone back, guess that's a detail I overlooked when I took a 4 week long break from writing… sorry.**

**And yes, the cliffhangers will stop. cuz I see this story ending in a few chapters… but, I will keep writing and I'll work on stories on my vacation.**

"I can't believe he left her like that!" Espo said as soon as he got off the phone with Beckett. "Who knows what he's going to do to her!"

Kate just thought she was going to fight when she got a punch in her face that she didn't even see coming. Just before she fell unconscious she saw the man, kneeling in front of her, holding a rope while he said: "This is going to be fun!"

Kate was now bound up with rope. Her hands tied together, above her head to the roof. Her feet also tied together just barely touching the ground.

She noticed her jacket and shoes were gone as well.

"Good you're awake, I didn't want to start so you could miss all the fun." He mocked.

"You'll never get away with this." She moaned as she tasted blood in her mouth from the punch.

"oh, I will. But you won't live to see that." He pulled out her gun and aimed at her heart. The same place the sniper had shot her before. Then he threw it away, walked over to her pulled her hair back, what caused her to moan as he put the knife against her cheek and asked: "Do you love him?"

When she didn't answer immediately he stroke the knife into her cheek causing her to flinch at the sudden pain in her cheek. "I said, do you love him?" the guy asked. This time at a meaner tone.

"No! I don't."

"Wrong answer, and you know it…" he raised the knife and hit her in her side, causing her to flinch at the pain. She stared him right in the eye as he let the rope that was holding her up loose and she fell on the ground. "That's the problem, you love him."

She immediately grabbed at the wound feeling the blood coming out of it.

"You love him. Admit it!"

She wouldn't say anything, so he kick into her stomach. She had to gasp for air. "Admit it! Admit that he's the reason why you broke up with me!" and he kicked her again, and again and again.

"Who are you?" was the only thing she could get out of her mouth.

"Well, with a little plastic surgery you really don't see the difference do you? That's why they'll never get me, I'll just do it again."

Kate didn't know who he exactly was, all she knew was it had to be Tom Demming or Josh Davidson, those where the only two who could be him, the guy who was punching and stabbing and kicking her. And she had sparred with Tom, he would know how to do this, but Josh had better connections to get a plastic surgeon. And seen to his height, it could only be one person.

He never took it well, he always had something in him that scared Kate.

"Josh…" she moaned as he stopped kicking her. "Why?" she asked before she couldn't stay awake and she just wanted to drift off.

"Because you left me, for a guy who's less than me." He said as he walked over to the gun and aimed it at her leg. She heard the gunshot, felt a sharp pain in her leg, and then finally had some peace closing her eyes.

Rick was pacing around in his office. He worried about Kate, how could he not… he felt guilty, worried and he was afraid. He knew the man was going to do awful things to Kate, if he only knew who it was and why. Was it another deranged fan? Or was it a psychopath? But still, why?

And if it was a fan, why was he after Kate if it was about him, but of course not everything is about him.

If only he knew who he was dealing with…

Kate opened her eyes. She tried to look around but the pain in her leg, stomach and chest were so bad she couldn't move. She did see Josh, with his new face, standing there in the corner, apparently waiting for her to wake up again.

"Stand up!" he ordered.

"Josh…" she said as she tried to push herself off the ground but fell back because the pain became too much.

"Stand up!"

"I can't!" she snapped.

He walked over to her pulled her up causing her to scream from pain and he pushed her against the wall. She couldn't stand on her feet, could move her left arm or right leg. She figured the kicks broke her ribs.

He was pushing her against the wall with his body as he had one hand on her throat and the other holding the knife next to her eye for her to see.

"Any last words Kate?" he whispered in her ear.

She knew she shouldn't say this, but she had to. It would make him madder than he already was, but she was going to die anyway.

"I kissed Castle while I was with you, I never loved you, and yes, I love Richard Castle."

The second all the words where out, she wished she never said it because he took the knife and pushed it into her shoulder, pinning her to the wall. Then he put more pressure on his hand or her throat causing her to choke and gasp for air. He pressed his lips on hers. "If you just wouldn't have left me for that writer, you wouldn't have to die."

When she stopped struggling, he let go of her, letting her fall onto the ground.

She saw him opening the locks on the door and walking out before everything went black in front of her eyes. "Rick…"

Rick stopped pacing, something wasn't right. Kate! She was in trouble. He grabbed the phone, called Ryan and hoped he would have good news.

"Ryan?"

"Castle we're almost there! We'll call you as soon as we find her."

"I'm coming over there!"

"Castle you shouldn't do that."

"Well, I am. I'll see you guys soon, and I know where he's holding her, you don't!"

"Fine! But hurry up."

Castle grabbed his keys, said goodbye to his mum and daughter and ran through the door.

"I'm coming Kate, hold on." He mumbled to himself as he got into his car and drove off.

**And? What do you think? When I began to write this chapter, I didn't know who the guy was going to be, but this seemed like the most logical explanation.**

**Reviews make me write: so keep the reviews coming!**


	16. Breathe

**Chapter 16. Breathe…**

**To the person who said Castle would never leave Beckett like that, and he would call, and he didn't. Well, he did leave Kate, but he did call. And I said it before: This is Fanfiction, which means everything is possible.**

**I also want to say I don't know much medical stuff… so just forget about that and go with the story please. The song is 'Breathe' from Anna Nalick**

_Cause you can't jump the track__  
__We're like cars on a cable and _

_life's like an hourglass glued to the table__  
__No one can find the rewind button girl__  
__So cradle your head in your hands and breathe__  
__Just breathe_

Esposito and Ryan cracked the big warehouse doors open. "That door is open!" Ryan whispered to Espo. They ran over it with their guns pulled out. They stepped into a big white room. Ryan looked around and saw Kate lying on the ground. "Beckett!"

Esposito and Ryan kneeled next to Kate. Espo checking her pulse while Ryan called an ambulance.

"What has this guy done to her!" Espo said when he did feel a pulse and Ryan now checked for breathing. "Javi, she's not breathing…"

"Get away from her!" Josh said as the 2 detectives stood up and turned around. "And drop the guns or I'll shoot you both."

"If you shoot one of us, the other will shoot you." Ryan said.

"Fine, then I'll shoot her." He pointed the gun at Kate.

Kate's like Ryan and Espo's sister, they didn't exactly know how bad she was, all the know was they had to get her out of here.

"Fine," Espo said and put his gun on the ground.

"Don't hurt her." Ryan said as he put his gun down.

"Oh, but I already did…" Josh said in a mocking kind of way. "Now turn around, you wouldn't want to see me killing your partners, would you?"

"Can I say something?" Esposito said. "Ryan, know I always got your back, and I know you always have mine. Seriously bro" he used the same trick as he did with his old partner. Ryan immediately got the tip since he told Ryan about his adventure with his old partner.

Ryan looked at Josh, waited for him to glimpse away at Kate, pulled out the gun from Esposito's back and shot Josh right in the shoulder. Josh didn't see it coming, fell onto the ground as he tried to aim for Ryan. Ryan short him again but this time he shot at his hand causing the gun to flip out of his hand. Espo cuffed josh put him against the wall. "This," he held his fist up in front if Josh's eyes, "is for hurting Kate!" he said as he slammed his fist against Josh's cheekbone, knocking him out in the process.

Ryan checked Kate's injuries. He immediately tried to stop the bleeding from the stab wound and the gunshot wound in her leg. As soon as he got it under control, and Espo tried to get her breathing again. After a few tries, Espo got Kate to gasp for air. "Hi Kate, you okay?" he got a nod from her in return. Espo lifted Kate into his arms and Ryan dragged out Josh.

"Espo…" Kate barely whispered, "Don't call Rick."

"He's already coming over here."

"Then, call. Tell him. Go home." She got out between moans of pain.

"If that's what you want, I'll do it. And Kate, I'll kick his ass for leaving you like that."

She tried to smile at him but somewhere halfway the pain got the better of her and the smile turned into another moan of pain.

Rick practically jumped at the sound of his ringtone.

"Ryan?"

"Yeah, we have Kate, she's okay, but you need to go home."

"I'm not going home!"

"Yes, you are. Now, turn around and go home!"

"No I…"

"Castle! Beckett asked us to tell you, to go home!"

"She said that?"

"Yes she did! So go home!"

"Fine, but I'm coming to the hospital!"

"Castle!"

"No, she didn't say anything about that did she? I'm going to the hospital!" he hung up the phone, turned around and drove to the hospital.

Espo and Ryan had waited for the investigators and cops to arrive before heading to the hospital with Kate. they had already informed Lanie about the whole situation and she went to the hospital as soon as possible and she would stay with Kate for the next hours so that she would have someone with her at all time.

Kate arrived in the hospital, she was checked on her injuries, the bullet wound was fixed pretty soon but the stab wound was going to be surgery. She immediately had surgery that took about an hour. In that time Lanie had arrived and she was waiting in the waiting room when she saw Castle rushing through the doors.

"Hey Lanie." He said

"Don't you 'hey Lanie' me! Why did you leave her like that! With that guy!" Lanie stood up poking her finger in Castle's chest.

"I didn't know what to do! I had to get Alexis home, I was going to go back but something held me up. Then I decided to go there but Ryan told me that I shouldn't come because Kate told them to tell me, to go home" Castle rambled. Lanie listened to the explanation she already heard part of from Espo.

"Then why didn't you go home, why did you come here if she didn't want you to?"

"Because I'm not going to leave her again."

Suddenly the thought of how bad she might be came through his mind.

"How is she? Is she hurt? Did Ryan and Espo get the guy?" he started rambling again.

"She's in surgery and yes she is hurt and yes, they got the guy." Lanie wanted to kick Castle's ass for what he did to her best friend, but she thought that could wait until this whole thing was over. He would be worried enough for now as it was.

"Now you sit down and shut up and wait for Kate to get out of surgery!"

Castle walked over to the chair next to Lanie, just then the doctor came out of surgery.

"Dr. Parish?" the doctor walked up to them. "Detective Beckett should be just fine, the stab wound in her side didn't hit any organs or main vessels. She should wake up after the medication runs out. You can go see her but not more than 3 people at once." The doctor said to Lanie and Castle and walked through the doors leading them to Kate's room. Castle turned to Lanie as they walked, "wait… she was stabbed?"

"Yes Castle, in the side and in the shoulder. She was also shot in her right leg, kicked in the stomach and she almost chocked." Lanie said on a harsh tone, hoping it would make Castle realize about how bad this all was and how much he and of course the guy who did it, caused her.

"Oh my God! I'm going to kill that bastard! Who is he actually?"

"Kate tried to tell Espo and Ryan but they didn't understand, we should know once she wakes up."

**Like it? Please keep the reviews coming. I'm sorry if the medical things aren't that good.**

**And wow, 4 chapters in 4 days… tomorrow I'm very busy so I won't be able to write…**


	17. Who's To Blame?

**Chapter 17. Who's to blame?**

**I had a really busy day, so if there are some spell mistakes, I'm sorry, I'm just really tired.**

**Sorry to Miniwriter305 this isn't going to be a good chapter for Rick… or at least in the beginning**

**And to all people: Espo and Ryan DON'T know who the guy was, yet!**

Lanie and Rick had sat in silence next to Kate's bed for a half an hour before Esposito and Ryan came into the room.

"You!" Espo said as he almost ran over Castle and pushed him against the wall.

Castle put his hand in the air against the wall. He knew it was coming for him.

"Hey Javier, I want to smack him to but I'm not going to do that here and now!" she put a hand on his arm causing him to let Castle go.

Castle was holding breath all that time and took a deep one in when Espo let him go.

They all just stood there for a moment when they heard a moan. They all looked at Kate who was moving her head a little bit around.

Esposito and Ryan went to one side of the hospital bed, and Lanie and Rick on the other side. Kate slowly opened her eyes, the bright light in her eyes almost blinding her.

She looked to her right and recognized Espo and Ryan. To her left she saw Lanie and… Rick. No, she didn't want Rick here. He left her, okay it was to get his daughter safe, but he could've just made up a plan like he does so much! She told Espo she didn't want him here, but where was here?

"Javi? I-I told you…"

"Beckett, I couldn't just-" Espo protested but he felt Kate's hand on his.

"Please…" causing Rick to look at her with a questioning face. She wouldn't look Rick in the eyes, she just couldn't without her eyes tearing.

"Kate, I'm…"

"Castle, out now!" Lanie demanded.

"No, Lanie, I'm not leaving."

"Castle" the weak voice from Kate just loud enough for him to hear, "Go home."

Rick looked at Kate but she wouldn't look back.

"Kate…" Rick reached for Kate's hand.

"NOW!" she almost yelled when his hand touched hers. She looked up and met his eyes.

She saw shame, love and anger written in his, and he saw fury, hate and pain in hers. So he backed off and walked defeated out of the room. He stopped at the doorframe, turned his head over his shoulder and whispered, "I'm sorry" and walked out of the hospital.

Ryan sat at the feet of Kate's bed, Espo on her right and Lanie of her left. They were her family, now that her parents were dead. They hadn't really talked since she sent Rick out. Just, 'are you in pain? Are you okay?' not much more.

"Kate, I don't want to put this off any longer." Espo started, "You started to say who the guy was who did this to you, but we couldn't make out a name."

Kate sighed, "you won't believe who it is."

Lanie looked at her, "wait, we know him?"

"Yeah, you defiantly know him, he's been in the 12th. But he had plastic surgery, that's why I didn't know him."

"Come on Beckett, don't keep up guessing! I want to know so I can lock him up and he won't get out any time soon."

She sighed again, took a deep breath and spit it out: "It's Josh."

"It's Josh? Are you sure?" Ryan asked since Espo took his phone out and Lanie just didn't know what to say.

"Yes. He told me he did this because I left him for… Castle" she ran her hand over her forehead, not believing this had happened because of something so little, "That's why I didn't want him here."

"So you don't blame him for leaving you with Josh like that?" Lanie questioned.

"No" she firmly said, "I would've done the same, save my child and leave the grown up behind, but yes, I would have called someone sooner. So no, I don't blame him."

Although Lanie, Espo and Ryan didn't understand, they knew Kate loved Rick. So when she asked if Ryan and Espo would carry on with her case and Lanie should go home for a few hours and get some sleep, they did. Kate needed to rest. But before she wanted to sleep, she needed to make things right with Castle.

She picked up her phone and called Rick.

Rick sat in his office. He was trying to write more for his 4th Nikki Heat novel but he was just staring at the screen because he couldn't write the words.

He jumped when he hear his phone. He checked the caller ID. Kate… was didn't know for sure if he wanted to talk to him. What he did was wrong, he knew that, but how she send him home, it was just heartbreaking. He let the call go to voicemail.

He stared at the phone when only 5 seconds after the last call ended, it rang again.

This time he decided to pick up, if she called twice, it should be worth it.

"Castle." He tried to sound like he didn't know who it was.

"Hi Rick." He heard a tired voice at the other end of the line.

"Kate, why did you call?" he said it as neutral as possible.

"Because I wanted to apologize."

"For what Kate?" he sarcastically spoke, "For sending me home while I was worried about you, while I wanted to stay with you, make sure you were okay?"

"Yeah." Her tired voice barely noticeable to hear. "I'm sorry. I just didn't want you to go through all the business stuff with me, but now I do want you here."

"Kate, I could've just stayed outside, but the way you send me home… I can understand if you blame me for leaving to save my daughter…"

"I would've done the same thing." She interrupted "so no, I don't blame you."

That was something he didn't expect.

"Rick, can you come over. Espo and Ryan are doing the paperwork, and I sent Lanie home. I don't want to be alone, and since I don't have any real family anymore, I would like the closest thing to one, and that's you."

Rick took a moment. "Okay Kate, I'll come, but are you sure you're not too tired?."

"No Rick, and if I'm asleep you can wake me. Please just come."

He saw Alexis standing in the office door, silently questioning if he was okay and since she knew that he was talking to Kate, she asked if she could come to.

"Hey Kate, is it okay if Alexis joins me? She would like to come and I don't really want to leave her alone."

"Sure, of course she can come." Kate smiled

**So… I hope you like it. I don't know how many chapters after this it's going to end, but I see it coming pretty soon…**

**I got my grades to, so that motivated me a little more to write.**

**TBC…**


	18. A Family Visit

**Chapter 18. A family visit. **

**First I didn't know how to give this story more then 1 or 2 more chapters: now, Thanks to theputz913 I got a great idea! So you should all thank her for giving me this idea bcs now ya'll can enjoy this story just a little longer. ;)**

Alexis and Castle walked into the room Kate was staying in. Kate was still awake, but she looked, not only tired, but also broken. "Kate!" Alexis almost yelled as she ran over to the bed and reached to hug Kate. Realizing that she might hurt her, she stopped right before she was going to hug her and lightly put her arms around Kate. "I'm so sorry for what he did to you." She whispered in Kate's ear just loud enough so that only Kate would hear.

Kate put her good, right arm over Alexis' and hugged her back.

"I'm okay, I just need to stay home for a few weeks." She reassured the girl now sitting next to her. "which I'm going to hate…" she added with a smile.

"I'll get us some drinks." Alexis said and left her dad with Kate to talk.

"Castle, I'm sorry for before." Kate slowly said with her head against the pillow once Alexis left.

Rick walked over to her, sat next to her and took her hand. "Hey, It's okay. I would expect you to be mad. Normally I come up with these ridicules plans, and this time, I had nothing."

"And I already knew you had to make a hard choice, and I was expecting the exact choice you made, but it was hard to realize. And… I thought I was going to die, and all I could think about was that I at least got to save you and Alexis."

When Castle stayed quiet, she lifted her good hand to his cheek. "Rick, I need you to know that I really don't blame you." She almost whispered.

"I know." He said as he leaned forward until their lips met for a soft and loving kiss.

Kate put her arms around Castle's neck and pulled him in for a hug. Her head resting on his shoulder. "Kate, Espo and Ryan caught the guy, but do they know who he was?

She wanted to tell him, but what if he would think that it was his fault that Josh attacked her… it was true what the bastard said, she did leave him because she was in love with Castle…

"No. They are investigating it. The only thing I know is that he had plastic surgery. And that we have seen him before." She said, not wanting to lie. She didn't lie really, she just didn't tell him the whole truth she figured…

"They will find out. And then they'll make him regret for hurting you." Rick reassured.

Alexis walked back into the room and saw her dad and Kate hugging. "I brought you a coffee." She smiled as Kate and Rick startled and broke the hug.

Alexis handed the coffee to her dad and Kate. "It's decaf because I know you need to rest a lot." She added. Kate replied with a tanks and a smile. She really loved that girl, she knew it was weird and after only knowing her as little as she did, with Castle's stories, she felt like she knew her from the moment she met Castle.

They just talked about how they had been before this all happened and laughed a lot, which sometimes made Kate flinch at the pain, but she had too much fun to worry about that.

And she almost forgot she had lied to Rick, almost…

Alexis fell asleep in the hospital chair and Rick was sitting on the bed next to Kate.

"Maybe you should wake her up and go home," Kate mumbled looking at his watch and realizing that it was almost 1 am. Rick figured Kate needed her sleep, and so did Alexis and he, but he didn't want to leave any of them alone.

"Are you sure you're okay alone?" Rick asked concerned.

"Yeah, I'm not the one that was dragged out of this place with a gun in my side." She joked.

"Fine, but I'll come back tomorrow afternoon, I want to go to the 12th and see how this case is going, maybe I can help!" he said as he stood up.

His hands reached for Kate's cheeks and he leaned in to give her a soft kiss on her forehead. Kate closed her eyes while he kissed her forehead, she just wanted to be home, with him. But that wouldn't be possible for at least a few days. The gunshot- and stab wounds needed to heal.

He woke Alexis, luckily for him she woke fast and got to the elevator.

"Rick," her voice made him turn around, "Goodnight." She smiled.

"Goodnight Kate." he smiled back and walked towards the elevator.

**Normally I would end the chapter in another way(and it would be longer), but I don't think I'll be able to update before I leave on vacation. I would've updated sooner, but I got this new idea like I said before (another thanks to theputz913) and I had to rewrite it.**

**I will write while I'm on vacation, and update as soon as possible after.**

**Have a nice Vacation everyone! Xx**


	19. Motorcycle boy

**Chapter 19. Motorcycle boy?**

**Sorry for the A/N earlier and that I got worked up about it. I'm a teen, I think you know that teens get a little worked up over things to fast… ;)**

Castle walked into the 12th. He immediately walked to Espo and Ryan, with only one cup of coffee, which felt wrong. "Hey guys, it's okay between me and Kate, she asked me over last night. I told her I should come here, so… What do you have on Kate's case?" he asked when he stood by Ryan and Espo.

"We almost got all the pieces into place. We just need to confirm who is in our jail." Ryan said.

"Wait, you think you know who did this to Kate?" Castle asked.

"Yeah, I mean, didn't she tell you?" Espo asked looking between Castle and Ryan.

"No," he sighed in disbelieve, "no, she didn't." with his fists balled he walked over to the cell they were holding Josh immediately followed by Ryan and Espo. They were sure this wasn't going to a smooth meeting.

Josh stood up the moment he saw Castle walking in. "Well, well, well, we meet again _Castle_."

The tone in his voice made him shiver. "Who are you?" Castle almost yelled at Josh.

"So, she didn't tell you huh?" Josh teased.

Castle stayed silent.

"So that's a no, bet she didn't tell you because she knew you would blame yourself. You should." Josh said enjoying it very much.

"Who the _hell_ are you!" he slammed his hands against the bars.

"I was the one who saved _my girlfriend_ when she was _shot_ at a funeral, and after she dumped me for _you_." He said grinning through his teeth.

"Josh?" he seriously questioned, "Motorcycle-boy?" he spotted after that. Then became serious again and looked back at Espo and Ryan. "You knew this was Josh?"

Espo nodded and Ryan just looked at the floor. "Eumh, yeah we knew. We thought she told you…" Ryan said.

"No, she didn't" he said in disbelieve. He turned back to Josh. "I'll make sure you won't be let out of jail for the rest of your life!" he said. Josh said with a voice that gave Rick the eager to punch him: "This is your fault. If she wouldn't have dumped me for you, she wouldn't be in the hospital right now. Next time, and believe me there will be: I will kill you, and she'll be broken."

"That's enough!" Espo said coming between Castle and Josh before either of them punched each other through the bars.

Castle walked out of the room. He was mad at Kate for not telling him, mad at himself for letting this happen, it really was his fault. Kate told him it wasn't while she knew it was. He brought her in danger for the second time. There was no way he was going back to Kate. he couldn't face her.

Kate checked the clock for the seventh time in a half an hour to see if it was afternoon yet. It was already 2 pm and she still hadn't heard from him. She knew it couldn't be Josh kidnapping him again, because he was in jail. So where was he?

She picked up a book and started reading. When it was 3 pm she picked up her phone and called him. No answer. She tried again. Still no response. She tried Alexis, but she was probably on her way to collage right now. And Martha was in her school… so she tried Castle's loft. Maybe he would pick up then. While she heard the rings, she thought about what could be able to cause this. Something about the case… _Oh no! Josh! _She heard the voicemail pick up.

Castle heard the phone ring from his office. Probably Kate calling again so he didn't pick up. He walked to the kitchen. He heard Kate leaving a message.

_Hey Rick,_

_Why aren't you here? I hope everything's okay._

_Can you tell me what's wrong?_

He just wanted to pick the phone up and yell: "No! it's not okay! how could you not tell me! Motorcycle boy? And you were wrong: it is my fault! So no, you can't be my girlfriend although I love you so very much!" but of course, he didn't.

"_Rick, I-"_ he heard her sigh.

"_Please, if you're there pick up."_ He did nothing.

"_I know I haven't said it enough, but Rick, I love you. I love you so much Rick._

_Whatever it is that keeps you away from me, it doesn't matter. It's not important._

_You and I. That's what's important."_

After a little silence, he heard her hang up. "I love you to Kate," he whispered to himself, staring at the phone. What should he do? Go to the hospital? Wait for her to come back home…

He didn't know.

**And neither do I! ;) so please give me ideas… so I can write while on vacation.**

**Tomorrow I'm leaving, and if I get reviews and ideas, I might just be able to write a whole chapter to upload tomorrow night.**


	20. Always

**Chapter 20. Always…**

**So I'm writing while in the car. I got some ideas from you guys which I hope I can make a good story with.**

Kate stared at the phone after she left a message. She knew he was home, he had to be, he had to have heard her message. So why didn't he answer the phone… she thought about what he might have heard about the case. Maybe he found out that it was Josh, maybe he felt guilty, he shouldn't. it was his fault.

She put the phone away and stared at the clock. It was 2:15 pm and she hoped he would come to the hospital or she would discharge herself and visit him at his loft. She decided she would wait a half an hour before she would leave this place and confront him. She would tell him what she thought; that she loved him, that it wasn't his fault and that it wasn't just him or her, not a you and I, now it was us. 2 people who loved each other, the past didn't matter to her anymore. Only the future.

It was about 2:40 pm when Castle walked in. She was just climbing out of bed when he stood in the doorway. "What do you think you're doing?" he said startling Kate.

She stopped trying to get out of bed and turned to Rick. "I didn't think you were going to show up."

"Before or after the call?" he lightly asked.

"Both. When you weren't here at 2 I was starting to worry."

"Why? Because you lied to me? Again?" he asked looking at her as she brought her gaze to her hands.

"Why didn't you tell me it was Josh?" he asked.

"Because," she took a deep breath, "I thought you were going to blame yourself. And you shouldn't."

"I do. And you thought I wouldn't find out?"

"I don't know, I wanted to tell you. But I don't care. It's the past! It doesn't matter to me! You. You matter! You and I matter! We matter. And the future matters. The past doesn't." she calmed back down. Rick opened his mouth to answer, so Kate interrupted again. "Rick… you are my only family left, I don't have anyone else but you, Alexis and Martha."

"You have Lanie, Esposito and Ryan." He interrupted.

"Yeah," she slowly nodded, "but they aren't my family, they're just friends. You are more than a friend." With wet eyes she tried to get of the bed again. She was only able to use her right arm because her left arm was held up around her neck because of the stab wound. When she was sitting at the side of the bed Rick joined her, afraid she might try to stand up.

"Hey, don't try to stand." He said as he put her arm around her.

"I want to go home Rick." She slowly made clear after she calmed down. She turned her head up to him. "Please?"

"If you're going home, you're coming home with me."

"That's what I meant Rick." She smiled as she brought her lips to his. They softly brushed over each other, then deepened the kiss. They didn't want to break apart, but they had to. They were both running out of breath. "When we get home, you are going to rest!" he told her.

She nodded her head. "Now, I'll go and get you out of this place."

When they had left the hospital, a day later, he had convinced her to take a wheelchair with them. She didn't want it at first, but when she tried to walk, she flinched at every single movement she made, so finally she agreed to it and let him drive her home, with the wheelchair.

Rick pulled the door open and guided Kate in and headed straight for the couch. Martha came down the stairs to welcome Kate and her son back home. "Hi Darling!" Rick smiled at his mother, "Hi mum." "Hi to you to Rick," she said as she got a look from her son and a smile from Kate. She walked over at them and softly hugged Kate. "Glad you're here Kate" she whispered in Kate's ear.

Kate had closed her eyes after Rick went into the kitchen to make lunch and Martha had left to her school. As soon as she closed her eyes, she fell asleep. Exhausted from everything that had happened to her in such a short time. He had left, been attacked, she was kidnapped, sat on a bomb, almost drowned, saved and then he was kidnapped with Alexis, she was tortured and had just escaped death for the 4th time since the start of the summer. She was so haunted by everything and she knew that she was going to have nightmares again. But she would be glad if she didn't have PTSD again.

She was dreaming about her and Rick, but in the dream he had chose her over Alexis. And with that choice Alexis had been found in the warehouse, tortured, stabbed and choked. Rick hadn't forgiven himself, or her and had reacted the same way her dad had reacted to her mum's dead. He was drunk all the time and screwing his life up. At this point in the dream, she was with Rick. He was holding a gun to his head, she was screaming at him to stop but he didn't. _Farewell Kate,_ she heard in her dream before he pulled the trigger. She saw him falling onto the floor, in her dream, he had killed himself, in her dream he had shot himself in the head in front of her. But she didn't only scream in her dream for him to wake up, or that she's sorry, she was screaming in real life to.

Rick had stopped making diner when he had heard her scream. When he was listening to what she said, he realized she was having a nightmare, a pretty bad one to. He heard her scream something about her being sorry, and for him to wake up… he took her into his arms and woke her up. He laid with her on the couch. "Hey, it's okay! You're okay. We're okay." he shushed, "It was just a nightmare."

Kate and Rick had set themselves around the salon table, eating lunch. They hadn't really talked about anything that happened. She didn't want to talk about the nightmare, and they both didn't want to talk about the past. They just talked about Alexis' first day back In collage and how they were going to spend the first week together. If that went well, and it would, she would stay here longer. Although they hadn't been together for that long, they knew it was right and they wouldn't screw this up. Everything felt right, the kisses they shared, her staying at the loft and him being her boyfriend, it was a piece of her heart that was restored. "Rick?" she smiled just in the middle of lunch. He looked up answering her smile, "yeah?"

"I love you." She smiled as she looked into his eyes.

"I love you to." He smiled as he stood up, walked over, not taking his gaze off of hers.

They saw each other's smiles in their eyes, that sparkle of life had been gone for a while with the both of them. Now it was shining brighter than ever! They loved each other so much, more than anyone would ever think.

He sat beside her, and took her lips with his in a loving kiss that deepened every with every second. They broke apart, only because they ran out of breath. "Rick?" she managed to get out when she found her breath, her forehead still attached to his, "can you carry me to bed?" she smiled as she brought her eyes up to his. He returned her smile, lifted her into his arms, and carried her to his bedroom. Kissing her all the way. He loves her, she loves him. Always…

**The End. I hope you like the ending, I might write an epilogue, but that should be a decision you should make. So please leave me reviews.**

**I hoped you liked my story. (; I'm already busy on my new idea! **

**-Lina.**


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